Home  |  Fiction  |  Poetry  |  References  |  Essays  |  Links  |  Recommendations  |  New

"I am the owner, the lights are low . . ."

The Coming Choice

May-July 2003
last modified August 2, 2003

by Amy R.

Disclaimers, citations and credits appear in the endnote of this first-season Forever Knight fanfiction poem.

Kill him.  Convert him.  Or make him forget.
The Code will enforce this choice on Janette
the night Nick regains his humanity.
Sometimes, deep in her soon-empty goblet,
apart from the crowd with her cigarette,
she ponders that eventuality.

Kill him?  Lacroix would have done so, doubtless.
Lacroix would have preferred his Nicholas
dead in his grasp rather than living free.
But though she deals death without regret,
this is Nicolas.  No urge in Janette
could cap her knight's quest with such tragedy.

Convert him?  No plan would please her better.
To build anew with her fair Crusader
what might have been with no Lacroix between.
But that chance is lost, and she knows his views.
Rather than return to her, he would choose
to die human; she could not intervene.

Or make him forget?  Such a lonely thought.
She imagines erasing times they fought,
laughed, touched, cried, or sat quietly content.
She pictures how their life seen through his eyes,
her heart as held in his hands, would comprise
old wallpaper stripped for a new tenant.

Someday, he will become mortal, knowing
more than mortals may.  Forbidden to cling,
she must choose somehow to silence his voice.
So when days find her too deeply drinking,
it's because she knows that choice is coming --
not that she would really call it a choice.




Home  |  Fiction  |  Poetry  |  References  |  Essays  |  Links  |  Recommendations  |  New