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Janette leading Nick

He Never Blames Her

March 2003 / June 2006
last modified June 9, 2006

by Amy R.

This Forever Knight fanfiction poem is inspired by the episode "Dance by the Light of the Moon."  See the endnote for disclaimers, citations and credits.


When he rages against the road Lacroix drove him down,
he never curses her for cajoling him to cross.
When he groans at the dark Lacroix rendered unending,
he never suggests it was she who snuffed out his sun.
When he wrestles with the hungers he cannot escape,
he never accuses her of awakening them.

Does she ever resent his refusal to judge,
his wordless forgiveness for a fellow victim,
his opinion that she only obeyed orders?
Does she ever long to lighten his lonely load
by shouldering a share of the anguish gushing
from a wound he wears because she so wanted him?

But Nick never blames her for being the bait.
So he never learns if Janette blames herself.




  • Disclaimers

    • Mr. Parriot and Mr. Cohen created Forever Knight.  The Sony Corporation owns it.  I intend no infringement.  Please support all authorized Forever Knight endeavors!  (Have you purchased your DVDs?)

    • Characters and situations depicted in this fantasy fan poem are entirely fictional.  Any resemblance to real people is purely coincidental.  (Vampires don't exist.  Misapprehensions do, though.)

  • Citations

    • In the "Dance by the Light of the Moon" flashbacks to 1228, the earliest Nick flashbacks besides "The Queen of Harps," Janette asks Nick, still human then, "How badly do you want me?"  We never learn what may have passed before that scene, between Nick and Janette, or between Janette and Lacroix.  I got to wondering whether Nick ever learned what had passed between Janette and Lacroix at that time, either.

    • The poem's phrase "she so wanted him" comes, of course, from the "Near Death" 1228 flashback line, "Oh, I want him!"

    • For those, like me, obsessed with mechanics: the poem is in the form of a sonnet, but of course is not a sonnet, since it doesn't rhyme.  I was playing with consonance, assonance and alliteration instead.  The number of syllables per line contracts by one with each stanza.

  • Credits

    • I wrote this poem in 2003, and intended to post it that summer, but was dissuaded.  I found it again recently and tinkered a bit.  My thanks to Shelley, who read it this spring.  And my thanks to Abby, who has not read it, but who encouraged me to go ahead and post it if I think it's the best I can make it.

    • Please do not archive, post or otherwise distribute this poem.  I posted it to fkfic-l on June 4, 2006, and archived it here on my site on June 9, 2006.  You're welcome to link to it here.

    • Thank you for reading!  Your constructive criticism is welcome.  (Since this is a poem, please let me emphasize the "constructive.")  Please email me or leave a comment on my LiveJournal or Dreamwidth.  Though sometimes it takes a while, I always answer each comment I receive.

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