Elenore

by Inga

Wow...I can't tell you, Gary, what my emotions are going through. I will
try. Today is a fresh day... the start of a new beginning. That is the
way we will have to think of it for now on. Today is the day that the
clocks jumped forward. Sort of a thing that one associates with spring.
Spring is new. I have to adjust yet again to a new way. These past few
weeks have truly been some to remember. Or maybe just to tuck away in
some dark secret place in my brain.

Here goes. Do you ever feel relieved and bummed out at the same time? I
feel a loss, at the same time enlightened. Revived. Fresh.

I lost the hose. There . I said it. Just as I was growing truly fond
of the hose, I lost it. Yeah Yeah, I would complain about it here and
there throughout the days, but it truly became such a part of me.

We even named it. Her. Her name was Elenore.

Elenore is buried out back.

Let me explain: I have been pulling some pretty rough hours at work. I
must not have been drinking enough water, was constantly on the go. I
wasn't eating enough. I was stressed. I stopped taking my vitamins. I
still went running. I think that I was flat out doing too much. I should
have been more careful to notice the cramping, the lower back pain and the
excessive fatigue. I should have just flat out taken some breaks. Rested
in bed for a day. Something. It would have saved Elenore.

At night, we would sit and watch Married With Children (just like us) and
stroke my hose. I could feel inside my colon pulsing with each stroke
that I made to the hose. I don't know exactly when and where the name
Elenore came up, but it stuck. You know Jon...once he comes up with a new
way to call something, it somehow becomes the rave way to call it. I
think that he was the creator of her name. Anyway, we would stroke
Elenore and sit together. It was really touching. Elenore had a way of
bringing us back together closer during a time of real hardship.
Sometimes in the morning we would lie in bed, cuddle up, and both stroke
Elenore. My daughter would run in and snuggle between us, and hold
Elenore like a stuffed animal, cradling it to her. Such peaceful times.

My cats would curl up on it. (when they weren't playing with it).
Elenore just became a part of the family. Sometimes I would allow someone
else to bath her, if they were very gentle.

Well, here goes the part where I lose her. It was truly sad. It moves me
to remember it. I had a visit from some clients. We had a hard meeting
where we sat and crunched out contractual numbers all day. It was a day
that I was dreading for a long time. I hate dealing with the contracts,
and I hate trying to figure out hypothetical budget numbers. I had to
leave the room several times, as my colon kept spasming. I didn't know
what was happening, but I surely didn't want to have a big spell of gas in
the conference room, or think it was going to be gas, and let out a huge
spray of diarrhea. You see, I had a small chafing
rash from my reinforced new panties. I went without them that day, and
wore a skirt. I bunched up Elenore some and wrapped a rubberband around
her. By then, everyone at work knew that Elenore existed. I would sit
outside at lunch, and let her out of her pouch to sit in the sun, etc.
Some people at work, the more conservative ones, thought I was sort of
freaky, but they got used to it. Everyone just started accepting Elenore.
Some would ask how she was doing.

Well, anyway, the clients don't yet know about her. They didn't, should I
say. The last time I had to run to the bathroom I did shoot an incredible
load of watery diarrhea. It was the kind that was sort of acidic and
hurt a little bit. It burned my anus after it came out. Somehow, during
my spray session, Elenore fell into the toilet. I didn't realize it. I
just wiped up as well as I could without sponge bathing, and flushed. Oh
the pain. The toilet sucked on Elenore and pulled. I realized that the
was flushing, but still attached inside me. I turned, pulled with both
hands. I pulled and pulled. My colon started spasming again. It started
letting out these sounds. They were like coyote sounds or something.
Every time I would try to pull Elenore out of the toilet, it was like my
colon was trying to help, and would howl as it spasmed.

It really loved Elenore. I guess I knew that all along. From the moment
the colon latched on, it would take nothing else. Elenore belonged to it.
It didn't want to lose her. Nor, at this time, did I.

Someone knocked on the bathroom door and asked if I was okay. The toilet
was still making flushing noises, I was grunting as I was pulling, and my
colon was howling. Mixed in was the noise of the fan and the clinking of
the flexible metal hose in the porcelain toilet.

I yelled that I was freshening up a bit, and that I would be right out. I
asked that they see if my clients needed more coffee. Somehow, the
mention of the word coffee out of my mouth, stimulated some sort of brain
to colon reaction, and a mini-spray shot out of my butt. This time I
didn't have time to pull my skirt up as I was still trying to pull Elenore
out of the bowl. So now... I had diarrhea spray on part of the wall, the
toilet, and my skirt and legs. ugh. Knowing that I had to act fast, I
put both feet up on the toilet seat, leaned against the wall, and gave a
tremendous pull. That worked. With a huge suction sound, Elenore came
free. I was so relieved and glad. I was pretty shaky, very sweaty, and
covered with some diarrhea. My colon stopped spasming, though. I mopped
up my legs and skirt the best I could with wet toilet paper, and tried the
same to the wall and toilet. I realized that I could come back to it
later, but my clients had been waiting for me . I scurried out of the
bathroom, while shouting to my co-workers to use the other bathroom for
awhile. I started into the conference room when good ol Sam cleared his
throat. I looked at him, he looked at the back part of my skirt. I
turned to see wet globs of toilet paper stuck to my skirt, and a few solid
diarrhea chunks. I flashed a thank you smile, brushed off my skirt, and
went into the conference room.

The smell in there was pretty bad. We seemed to wrap things up in quite a
hurry. As we were working on the concluding numbers, my colon would make
huge sigh like noises. They sounded nice to me...but I could see where
they would be confusing sounds to my clients. As they rushed out of there,
I went back to the bathroom.

Wow, I looked in the mirror to a face with small poop splatters on it. I
reeked of old sweat. My hair had some splatters, and was extremely
disheveled. I tried to clean up the bathroom more. There was a quiet
knock on the door. I opened it and peeked out. It was my boss with a
sympathetic and kind smile on his face. He told me to take the rest of
the day off and take care of myself. I was relieved and rushed to my car.


I got in, slammed the door, and started racing home. I went faster and
faster and all of a sudden it felt like someone put a flare up my butt. I
went faster and it got hotter. I shifted in my seat a bit, and was
dismayed to find that I couldn't move much. I was stuck! In my hurry, I
had slammed Elenore in the door. She was hanging out onto the road. I
kept driving, tears streaming down my face as my butt burned, and I rolled
down my window. I looked down to poor Elenore dragging along the road,
with sparks flying. Cars were flashing their lights at me and pointing.
I kept driving. I don't know what got into me. I couldn't stop. I was
on fire, it was burning so much. finally I pulled over, opened the door,
and grabbed Elenore. She was so hot, that I now have branded across each
of my palms, an outline of Elenore. I blew on her, and my hands. I was
still crying. I tried to turn and blow on my butthole, but of course it
didn't work. I got out, and wagged my sore butt back and forth, and used
my skirt to fan my butt. It cooled down enough for me to get home. I
drove, with Elenore cradled in my lap. I kept crying and apologizing to
her, and I guess to myself. I started crooning and, though I am not quite
sure, I recall hearing crooning noises from my butt. It was as if my
colon was crooning along with me.

Well, I got home, staggered to my front door while still cradling Elenore.
For a big treat and to apologize, I was going to take a freezing cold
bath. I dropped my keys and started shouting curses. Nosy neighbors came
out of their houses to look at me. I yelled at them to mind their own
fucking business. They just kept staring.

I got in. Devoid of all energy, I just rolled up in a ball and rocked
back and forth in the corner of the living room, under the ficus tree. I
started blowing large amounts of gas out. I moved to the porch, rocked
back and forth on my knees. I managed to sunburn my butt as my skirt was
hiked up. I used it to cradle Elenore.

My butt and colon started having spasms again. Strong ones. There would
be spasm, then a few moments of rest. Spasm, then a few moments of rest.
It got stronger and stronger. I started moaning and yelling. It hurt so
much. It was close to the end that I really realized that I was losing
Elenore. I started crying and sobbing and rocking in between the spasms.
The neighbors to the left and right of me came out on their back porches
to watch. Don't they know when someone needs their privacy?

Well, the final spasm was huge. My colon noises were huge . It was
howling again. I was sobbing and screaming. With a huge ripping sound
(sort of like a gargantuan zipper being zipped), and a huge huge pain of
fire in my colon, Elenore came free. My colon' s howling became constant
and I was just hiccuping my sobs quietly at this point. I knew I lost
her. I just rocked and cried quietly while my colon howled, (more quietly
by this time).

Jon came home from work, and luckily my daughter was playing at a friend's
house. He came and hugged me and gave me soothing noises. He took me in
my arms, ( I remember him saying "Pee-U" half to himself). But he was
great. He convinced me that we had to deal with what happened. That I
had to let go. He took a hold of the end of Elenore and pulled. I
groaned with the pain. I almost passed out. He pulled and yanked two
more hard times. She came free. Slowly she pulled out, then with a huge
whoosh and a pop, she came out of my butt. At the end of her where she
was attached inside, There was a large bloody tissue mass. It even had a
bit of hair tangled in it. Jon got me into the bathtub, and went to clean
up Elenore. I cried some more, then was ready to get out. I had to put
some balm on my burned butthole, and on my burned hands. My butt itself
was a bit sunburned, too. My anus was a little bloody. I felt so empty
and sore. I got dressed in fresh clothes and went downstairs to find that
Jon laid Elenore into a box lined with a soft towel. We both gave her a
final stroke, and put the lid on.

We waited for my daughter to come home before we buried Elenore. We
thought she should be part of the final goodbye. She had a few tears for
the loss of her sometimes plaything.

We buried Elenore just as the sun finally dipped below the mountains.
There was a warm gentle breeze. Dogs barking in the distance, birds
singing their twilight songs. Not a sound from my colon. Somehow, I knew
that the right thing had happened.

We all decided to go out for a bite to eat. It was good to get out of the
house. We got home late, and were so tired, there was no time for
contemplation. Only sleep.

The next morning, we all were a bit sad that we didn't have our cuddle
time with Elenore. But we have many wonderful memories of the short time
that Elenore made us all laugh and smile.

I will wait to pack away my specially designed clothes. I can't yet
really do that. I know the time will come when I will feel good doing it.

The hospital contacted us and we still may need to pay for their loss of
Elenore. It crossed our minds that we could bring her back and wouldn't
have to pay...but we would rather have her in our yard under our favorite
tree. Money means nothing in a time like this.

Well, It is so springy today. I feel almost happy today. It will be
awhile before I am completely so, but we are all getting there. I feel
free and I forgot what it was like to not be inhibited by the chord when I
run and play.

Another thing that makes us smile...you know how animals sense things more
than humans? Well, since Elenore has been buried under our favorite tree,
every morning the Chihuahua from next door pays a visit to her grave and
leaves a small pellet of poop. Our cats give small pellets of poop to the
grave, too. They all honor the memory of Elenore.



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