War Poops

To be sung to the tune of Black Sabbath's "War Pigs"

Poopies gathered in their masses
Clogging up the Generals asses
Crapping ugly hunks of charcoal
Soot and ash pours from their asshole
Thinking eating poop is cool
The smell of wet shit makes them drool
Mindless followers of the output
Eating crap brightens their outlook

Oh Lord yea........

Day by day and side by side
In the crapper they reside
Praying only for a big dump
On their heads they place a big lump
Squishing poop between their toes
Man, with these guys anything goes
Believing they're in seats of power
They pump out craps by the hour
The president and first lady
Honor them with shit on payday

Oh lord yea........

Spashing shit about the head and neck
That is their form of fun
Sipping poop through a crazy straw
Watching it go round and round they run!! Hoping maybe they might be the next
To guzzle their pally's crap milkshake
Making crap for them is making love
Crapping shit for poopie's sake.....Yea........

Now in darkness plop is cooling
No more Generals sickly drooling
God has sent them on to hell
Now it's flowers that they smell
When they try to make a poopie
Out fall rosebuds, not dookie
Evil minds that plot excrement
Now instead get perfume treatment
The only poop that they get close to
Is chocolate candy, nuts and tofu........OH lord yea........!!


Tis the Season

Tis the season to go poopie
poopie-oo-pi-ooo-pi-oo-pi-ooo
Everybody take a poopie
poopie-oo-pie-ooo-pi-oo-pi--ooo
Come along and take a poopie
Poopie-ooo-poopie-ooo-poo-pie-ooo
Think I'll go and take a poopie
poopie-oo-pi-ooo-pi-oo-pi--ooo


The Poopie's Gonna Start...

To be sung to the tune of "Closer to the Heart" by Rush

And the men who clench their butt cheeks Must be afraid to fart
They know the harsh reality
The poopie's gonna start
The poopie's gonna start...

The black shit and the brown stuff
Collects up in their butt
The pressure building rapidly
They know they can't keep shut
They know they can't keep shut....

Philosophers and Plowmen
Each must take their shits
Don't ever try to hold it back
There's no defeating it
No Defeating it..yeah........OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH.......

Whoa Whoa you can be a crappin
And I will blow fart
Bowels moving into destiny
The poopie's gonna start,
yea the poopie's gonna start
I said poopies gonna start
Poopies gonna start.....etc,. etc.......


Home on the Poop

Home, home on the poop
Where the flies and the dung beetles play
Where seldom is whiffed
A stench that ain't stiff
And the bugs are not hungry all day........


I've Been Working on the Poopie

I've been working on the poopie
All the live long day
I've been working on the poopie
Just to pass the time away

Got a magazine to thumb through
And the radio's on
Ain't in that big a hurry
To get this big log gone

Poopie won't you get
Poopie won't you get
Poopie won't you get out of my a-a-ass

Poopie won't you get
Poopie won't you get
Please go and make a splash

Someone's in the toilet with poopie
Someone's in with poopie I know-oh-oh-oh Someone's in the toilet with poopie
Oh, it's his old pal pee........


Tinkle Tinkle and a Poo

Tinkle Tinkle and a poo
There's no couple quite like you
When you squirt out in the bowl
From my pee pee and my hole
Tinkle Tinkle and a poo
All I can say is I love you..........


A Hundred Buttloads of Shit

A hundred buttloads of shit in the bowel
A hundred buttloads of shit
You sit on the pot and push a lot
Ninety nine buttloads of shit in the bowel....etc, etc..


Silent Poop

Silent poop
Holy poop
Wow it's long
Gosh it's wide
Brown big snakie wrinkled and huge
Holy Jesus what a poop
Swim in heavenly pees
Swim in heavenly pees.......


Lucky Poops

To be sung to the tune of "Lucky Man" by ELP

He had white undies
And boxers by the score
All messed with poopie
Stained forever more

Oh what lucky poops they were
Oh what lucky poops they were

White lace and crap stains
They made up his bed
A brown covered mattress
Where his poops they were lead

Oh what lucky poops they were
Oh what lucky poops they were

He went to the bathroom
For his comfort and his need
But in his panties he dropped one
So big it made him bleed

Oh what a big ol poop it was
Oh what a giant poop it was!!

The shit stain had found him
diarrhea ran as he cried
No diaper could save him
So he lay down in his mud pie.........


Let It Poop I

To be sung to the tune of "Let it Be" by the Beatles

When I find myself with diarrhea
Toilet paper comforts me
There will be a whoooshiing
Let it poop

And in my hour of squirting
There is still a smell that covers me
There will be a whoooshing
let it poop

Let it poop
Let it pee
Let me set
My poop free
There will be a whoooshing
Let it poopie

And when I think I finished
There is always one last blast for me
Stink until tomorrow
Let it poop

But while I'm half way through it
I see the roll is empty
A funny walk to the cupboard
Let it poop

Chorus


Let it Poop II

To be sung to the Holiday favorite "Let it Snow"

Well my tummy is acting frightful
But the farts are so delightful
It's clear where I gotta go
Let it poop let it poop let it poop

It's showing no signs of stopping
I've got to go a plopping
OH man I really gotta go
Let it poop let it poop let it poop

I hope it's a nice thick one
The kind that really make you proud
But if it's just a measly turd
I hope at least it comes out loud

Oh I've got my buttcheeks a flappin
Almost like they're clapping
And as long as it wants to go
Let it poop let it poop let it poop.....


Goodbye Little Poop

A Poem to be sung to the tune of "Candle in the Wind" by Elton John

Goodbye little poop
Thought I never knew you at all you had the grace to float yourself
While those around you sunk
Sank down in the toilet
And they whispered into my nose
They sent me oh a vile stench
And they made me change my shorts.......

And it seems to me, you lived your life as a poopie in the pot
Never knowing if you should cling to my hairy butt
And I would have liked to have known you, but you're just a shit
The toilet flushed you long before your smelling ever left.......

Loneliness is tough, the toughest role you ever played
My ass created a floating crap while your brethren sank away
Goodbye little poop from a young man who pushed you out his butt
To see you in something more than just fecal
When it was just my little floating poop....

(Chorus)


Going to the Toilet

To be sung to the tune of "Going to California" by Led Zeppelin

Spend my time with a crappy unkind
Brownin' my briefs and juicein' my longjohns
Made up my mind gonna make a new start
Going to the toilet gonna do more than fart
Placed my fanny on the ice cold seat
Never let 'em tell ya that they all retain some heat
Oh the pee was yellow and the big crap brown
Wondering how another crap could ever follow that one down

Seems that the turd in the bowl has a life of it's own it's started to go I think it might be sinking
Bring me a roll of that Charmin to go and I'll wipe up my ass and start to flush the bowl...

Found a poop without a smell
It said it played guitar and cried and sang
Ride a some dung to the footsteps of sewer
Trying to find a shit who's never never never been newer

Standing on the heels of a mountain of shit
Telling my self this really stinks, reeks, smells really bad........


When You Wish Upon a Poop

To be sung to the tune of Walt Disney's "When you wish upon a Star"


When you wish upon a poop
Or maybe hold it with a scoop
Any way you want to touch it
It's ok

Use some when you brush your teeth
Or saute' some for a treat
Top a bowel of ice cream
With a chocolate sauce

Poop is fun
Play with it any time
And when it's beddie time
Your poop is waiting

Like a bolt out of the blue
Your poopie shoots right through you
Put some in your favorite shoes and


Poop Exiles

To be sung to the tune of "Exiles" by King Crimson

Now in this far away port-a-potty
Strange that the cheeks of my butt
Should be damp from expectancy

Spray and the air's turning foul
Blast and the gathering steam
From the output I've just let go

And lord I had to go
The pain just too stong behind me
To face the call of bowel
Or make a skid mark on my drawers
But now this port-a-potty
Has brought a different understanding
And through these endless squirts
Shall bring a sense of deep relief
And though I count the hours
I know eventually this will pass

My home is in this small blue temple
With shit and the gathering flies
I blew an air of stinky poopie.....


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