By Petra Kemical©

When my kids were little, they used to cry every time I hit the bottle. Then I'd get mad and yell. After all, I didn't really feel properly dressed without my favorite fragrance. Didn't I have a right, just like anybody else?

Back when we were newlyweds, my husband would give me perfume on special occasions. It made me feel so glamorous, so loved. So I couldn't understand it when he started telling me to "go easy on the stuff." "What's wrong with smelling good?" I'd say, and put on a little more.

He started coming home from work late. Then he got interested in camping and fishing. I wasn't very interested in the outdoor life and our kids were too little. So he went on trips by himself. Eventually, it seemed like he was never home, and when he was there, he seemed edgy and angry.

I still wanted to feel loved and glamorous and I wanted our home to be a pleasant place. I read how smells create memories and how men really like the smell of vanilla, so I began to fill our house with vanilla scented candles and "stick-ons" in the bathroom and in the kitchen. I hoped he would realize how nice it was indoors, and spend the weekends with us for a change.

We're divorced now. I never realized that it was actually my addiction to fragrances that was driving him away. Now I know why he always had a headache whenever I wanted to cuddle. Now I know why he was always opening windows in the bedroom and making the house all drafty and cold.

My kids always had a lot of ear infections and colds, so I used a lot of antibiotic cleaners, trying to kill the germs that made them sick.

My oldest daughter had asthma. Even when she told me she couldn't breathe when I sprayed stuff around the house, I'd just tell her to go outside and play, get some fresh air. We took her to the emergency rooms a lot when she was a kid. It always seemed to happen when my husband and I were going out for a night on the town. I'd be getting all dressed up and next thing I knew, we'd be phoning the babysitter to cancel. I just refused to believe that the expensive stuff in the pretty bottles could really make her sick. She almost died once, when she was in her teens, and it was probably my fault. I actually sprayed her in the face and told her to just try it for once, she'd probably like it.

I'll never forget what happened next. Her skin got all red and blotchy. She looked at me like she couldn't believe what I'd just done, and started gasping for air. I'd forgotten to get a refill on her inhalator, and we only just made it to the emergency room in time. But the doctors never asked what caused her attack, and I was too ashamed to admit to what I'd done. My husband didn't speak to me for two whole days.

He moved out after that. And even though we tried counseling, hoping to reconcile a couple of times for the sake of the children, it never worked. I'd always forget, and show up at the sessions wearing some cologne--even though he told me right in front of the counselor that the stuff I was wearing was making him sick.

After the divorce was final, my oldest daughter, the asthmatic one, told me she wanted to live with her dad. I was stunned. I'd always been there for her. But when I asked her why, she said, "You think more of your smelly old perfume than you do of me." I felt like slapping her.

I wish I could say that's when I started to change. But it wasn't.

I got a little job, working as a part-time clerk in a grocery store. My co-workers kept their distance. No one seemed to like me much, even though I tried to be pleasant. They'd always find some excuse to leave whenever I'd come over to talk. I never met such an unfriendly bunch. So I started shopping on my lunch hour instead of hanging around the employee lounge. An aroma therapy store opened up around the corner and I started going there. The lady who owned the store said aroma therapy could help my depression and it really seemed to work for me.

But when I started using it at the grocery store, you know, pouring a little oil to pep up at the end of a long day, someone complained about the smell. The manager asked me to stop, and then told me that some of my co-workers had been complaining about my excessive use of perfume. At first I felt really angry. "What business is it of theirs?" I asked.

"We all share the air," he said, "Don't you think you could do without your perfume at work?"

"No," I snapped. And that's when he handed me the little booklet that changed my life: "Twelve Steps to A Solvent Free Life."

And that's why I'm talking to you tonight. Living fragrance free has changed my life. It was hard to give it up at first. I threw out all my scented candles. I got rid of my fancy fragrances. I switched to unscented everything. And I was hell to live with for a while. I got headaches and mood swings. I thought I was going through early menopause! But, what I didn't realize was that I would go through a detoxification phase--and that I would get so sick while it was happening! I had no idea I'd been absorbing all those chemicals through my skin.

It was hard to give up fragrances. I never realized how much I'd come to depend on them for a sense of identity, for a way to control how I was feeling. But even harder than giving them up was having to realize how much I'd been hurting all the people I loved. I was an addict, and I never even knew it!

My children are all grown. But even my asthmatic daughter comes to visit me now. We're closer than we ever were. Even my ex has become a good friend and my co-workers have gotten a lot nicer. And it's all thanks to Fragrance.

Abusers Anonymous!

For more information on Fragrances http://users.lmi.net/~wilworks/ehnlinx/f.htm#Fragrance

Fragrance-Free
http://users.lmi.net/~wilworks/ehnlinx/f.htm#Fragrance-free

Organizations suggesting you Avoid Fragrances IF . . . http://users.lmi.net/~wilworks/ehnlinx/a.htm#AVOID

FDA Petition to declare "misbranded" fragrances released to market without adequate testing:

For information on the chemicals in modern synthetic fragrances, please visit EHN's Citizens' Petition before the FDA, "Docket Number: 99P-1340/CP 1." Included is FDA contact information, as well as analyses of six popular scents, plus the image of a label with links out to more edifying information regarding the chemicals used to formulate modern, synthetic scents. FDA Petition http://users.lmi.net/~wilworks/FDApetition/bkgrinfo.htm

Folks, do take advantage of this golden opportunity to inform the FDA about your negative reactions to synthetic fragrances, whether first- or secondhand. Reference "Docket Number 99P-1340/CP 1"
E-mail: fdadockets@oc.fda.gov