Dear Diary . . . day by day

Tuesday, August 8th - Sex and Money (with a drug analogy)

Money
So, here at work we did real well last quarter, and they've decided to pay us twice next paycheck. Very cool. Unfortunately, I can not help but think of ways to rid myself of this money as quickly as possible. Some ideas:
Buy a new computer - this is my favorite. I could buy a new iMac and not go into debt (any further than I already am). Or I could spend about $600 more on my credit card and get a G4. Or I could spend $500 more (over iMac price) and get an iBook (laptop). Or I could get an iMac and a fancy printer, or try to find a package dealy with a printer (but probably not the printer I want) or or or . . .
Go on a trip - I could go to Ireland. Or England. Or Italy and Greece. I could try my South American excursion. I could save it and add to it and sublet my room and make it an extended trip between jobs. I could do all this.
Save it as a cushion - David's favorite choice. I could simply save this money so that if NEED to leave my job, or want to, I have enough money for a month or so. Tempting in that I could spend that time for me - writing, cleaning, gardening, sewing - and taking smaller, local trips (Monterery, Humboldt to research a story, Alaska to research another story, Hawaii - I know most of these are not inexpensive - shhhh).
Send it all to my credit card bills. Ergh. How boring.
The computer one is my favorite because I'm sick to death of my old, slow-ass computer that hangs whenever I try to type too fast. An iMac would probably be enough, but it's tempting to go for more room, super-fast, as top of the line as I can afford. Ohhh, it's tempting.
Sex
Mom, don't read this. Thanks.
So, I'm, well . . . I'm without a steady partner these days, and I'm not happy about it. I know what I say about not needing a significant other, and I mean that, but boy, oh, boy would I like a friend with whom I had regular sex. I have sex toys. I have a vibrator. But those things don't touch you in the way you need to be touched, you know? There are no stroking hands, no warm breath, no body heat, no weight of a lovers body on your own. Nope, it's just you and your toys and most of them don't move all that much on their own. And they don't gasp when you do really cool things to them either - there's just no feedback there. Nope, I need a MAN (or a woman, but I'm so picky about women it's embarrassing to mention) - a living breathing man to, well, fuck me silly when I want him to.
Now, this shouldn't be too hard, you'd think. I'm not bad looking and men are generally easy. Problem is is that I'm PICKY. People with whom I used to have a torrid sex life I no longer respond to. Attractive men who use the wrong come-on lines I won't speak to again. A bad kiss on a first date kills all interest I had in a person. Seriously, I am looking for chemistry and I won't settle for less than a hot connection. I don't want mediocre sex; I want it hot-hot-hot.
It's almost like the drug culture (and by drug culture, I'm talking about Mary Jane, not heroin or anything scary like that). When you're out, you're jonesing for it, looking for it, asking your friends about it (and if they'll share :-). If you're new in town or you've lost a good connection, all you can think about is finding a new good source to fulfill your needs. It mellows you out to have a constant supply handy, even when you don't use it everyday. Sometimes you get a hook-up through a friend, but all they have for sale is schwag (nasty, freeze-dried Mexican shake). It takes a long time and a lot of careful work (don't want to scare off your dealer) to get a good connection with someone selling the kind bud, the chronic. And sometimes, even when you've had that connection for awhile, there's always that chance it'll run dry . . .
Wow. Yeah, it's a lot like that. I've got a few leads that may come through in a month or so, but for now . . . well, for now I'm one jonesing babe with a powerful clit vibrator and a box of double A batteries. Heh. There's a visual to brighten up your Tuesday afternoon.

Exercise log:
Lifted weights: legs. Did sides and abs too. I love working out at lunch, as it makes me less tired in the long afternoons.
Writing log:
Had a neat idea on the drive home, but haven't written it yet.
I'm currently reading:
Welcome, Chaos by Kate Wilhelm, which I'm enjoying quite a lot.
oh so slowly:
Stars in My Pocket Like Grains of Sand by Samuel R. Delany

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