Dear Diary . . . day by day

Saturday December 2nd - Social Heather
My new PO Box is:
Heather Shaw
P.O. Box 13222
Berkeley, CA 94712-4222
I'm ridiculously happy right now. Things seem resolved in a way that they haven't been in years. Maybe it's the talk I had with my friend, maybe it's the upcoming appointment with a therapist I can afford. Whatever the reason, I had a good night last night (and the last couple of days, actually) with nothing spectacular to make it obvious why. In fact, a week or two ago, a night like last night, where I went to the gym, came home and ate, read and went to bed early on a Friday night, would've depressed me as utterly boring and useless; I mean, I didn't get anything "done" (although the reading counts, as I have to write an article on Octavia Butler this weekend). In fact, financially I'm kinda worried about things, wondering how I'm going to afford to fly home when I haven't bought those tix yet, and I've got other pressing financial bothers to deal with. But it's ok. I'm not spending tons of energy fretting about things, which is such a change for me . . .
Yesterday a couple of the engineers took me out to lunch at a nice Thai place nearby. I was so pleased to be asked out to lunch, let alone treated to lunch, that I was kinda bubbly. They're very nice guys; I've been working rather hard on a special copy-editing project for them (totally outside my job description; I should be just formatting the text they give me, not correcting the grammar and spelling or suggesting a different word-choice). I've been happy to do it for them, though, as it makes the day go by more quickly and actually uses some bits of my brain. It's very nice to be appreciated.
I've certainly been more social lately, and it's odd how people respond to it. The other night I had a stiff neck and one of Aron and Jen's friends, Craig, stopped for a moment in the kitchen to rub some of the tension out of it for me. And earlier that same night, a random man on the street (in Berkeley) walked alongside me for a minute, asking if it was too early to go dancing (5pm on a Thursday). I answered that I didn't know, that I don't go dancing, and as I said it I wondered to myself how that could be. I love dancing! Why have I never gone dancing around here, just across the Bay from one of the most spectacular cities in the world? (Because you're an idiot, that's why. Oh, yeah . . .) He was shocked too, and he started talking about how we all have this energy flowing through us, and how it's important that we let that energy flow, that we spend it, and not let it build up inside of us. Then he asked me where I was going. "To the gym" I said, which made his face light up. "You see?" he said, "You know about the energy, you're gonna go spend it right now, huh? How long do you spend in that gym? An hour or so?" "Two hours." "Two hours! You sure do got a lot of energy!" "Well," I said, "I've got to have time to relax in the steam room afterwards, you know." He grinned at me, and I was mildly thinking about asking him if he'd like to go dancing sometime - wondering if I could do that without it sounding like I wanted more than a friend (so annoying, that opposite sex thing sometimes) - when he said goodnight, wished me well and vanished down into the BART entrance. Sigh.
I hate to admit this, but no one has responded to my offer to exchange holiday cards. C'mon, surely one or two of you wouldn't mind a small card with my signature on it? This year's cards are very "me", and I'm just looking for an excuse to send out as many as possible. Maybe I'll even try to print out a photo on my printer, see how it does, and include that in the cards . . . as long as the USB port is working (it has been, intermittently, which seems worse than when it was just plain broken). In any case, my PO box is listed for any of you who want to send me anything; I'd just like to send a few cards out in return :-)
Have a nice weekend, kids!
Exercise log:
Lifted weights Thursday night: Chest and triceps; there was a beautiful woman in the weight room also doing triceps, but with 25 lb weights instead of 12 or 15 lbs like me (although I started with 5 lb weights, so give me 6 months and I'll be there too); she reminded me of the strong black heroines of Octavia Butler's novels, and I wanted to thank her for the inspiration. Finished with 15 minutes on the precor machine. Last night I took a 10 minute abs class and an hour and half salsa class; it was Friday and I wanted company. Salsa is a great hip/butt/calve workout, especially once you figure out how to shake your hips just right.
Writing log:
1000 words of new sister/sf story.
I'm currently reading:
Wild Seed by Octavia Butler
Woman: An Intimate Geography by Natalie Angier

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