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I'm wearing a butterfly pin on my shirt today. It struck me, as I pinned
it on this morning, how seldom we wear pins anymore. Pins seem to be a
piece of jewelry left over from the Victorian era, when ladies got ready
for the day and called it a "toilette". They (the leisure class ladies at
any rate) had the time to slowly contemplate every article of the ensemble
they were wearing that day, and taking the time to pin on a charming
brooch was considered a vital detail. At least, that's how I always
imagine it. Mom and I spent some time on our shopping spree poring over
different pins to give my grandmother, Nanie. We finally settled on a
nice bird (I think) and Mom bought herself a nice flower. I questioned
whether or not Nanie really needed a pin (especially a big pin, that you
would wear on something heavy like a coat, since she's homebound), but we
decided it was the thrill of opening a pretty box and finding a pretty
trinket inside that counted, not the practical application of the pin
itself. Still. Pins ARE something you give to grandmothers. They're
way the hell down there on the jewelry-giving hierarchy. What? You
didn't know there's a hierarchy? Oooh, boy. Of course there's an order
to giving jewelry as a gift. No, I'm not going to quote you Miss Manners;
this is something I'm making up off the cuff, but it's based on years of
cultural upbringing. There's a time for every piece of jewelry...well,
there's a time for some of them, and definite WRONG times for
others. - Pins - See above. Women can give them to other
women as trinkets of friendship or affection, but this works best if
they're antiques. Ugly pins are always a no-no. Cameos - real cameos
- are an exception, but only if the recipient has an affinity for
them.
- Bracelets - A good, neutral jewelry choice. An excellent choice
if you feel you need to give jewelry to your girlfriend's
mother.
- Anklets - Very similar to bracelets, but with a *slightly* more
risque feel to them (especially if you insist on putting them on the
recipient!). Ok to give to sisters and nieces of your beloved. Also a
nice touch when giving jewelry early in the
relationship.
- Earrings - A very in-between piece of
jewelry. Never get anything other than a style you've seen
her wear before (i.e. don't give dangly beads to a woman who
only wears pearl studs).
- Necklaces
- The perfect choice for your girlfriend. Or your girl pal that you're
close to. Necklaces mean affection, and almost everyone wears them.
There are levels upon layers of
different necklaces, though, so you've gotta consider some factors before
you buy. 1. What style does she wear? Don't give diamonds to your
punk-rock girl (at least, not tasteful, dainty ones), don't give funky
jewelry to your yuppie-gap girlfriend. Of course, the earlier it is in
the relationship, the more appropriate larger, costume jewelry is. The
more intricate, or delicate (and expensive - and yes, we can tell) the
necklace, the more serious the relationship. Sapphires would be a great
"in-between" jewel for your best gal pal, especially if she's me
;-P
- Rings - This is the one you've gotta be careful of. Even if it's a
novelty ring, there's a connotation of Token of Serious Affection.
Seriously. The nicer the ring, the bigger its resemblance to The Ring
(y'know, the one you give and mutter those ill-fated words: "'Till Death
Do Us Part") and the bigger its impact on the recipient. I've heard of
several cases of inappropriate ring-giving, and sometimes such a gift is
refused, even if the original intent was neutral enough. And, even if you
can convince your giftee that there was no serious intention behind your
motivations for giving the ring, they might feel uncomfortable for months.
(A male friend of mine once innocently gave a ring to a friend of his
because he knew it
was perfect for her - just her style. He learned that giving a ring has
much less to do with matching style as, say, a necklace. She refused the
gift; he was too sad to return it. Months later, when he was moving, he
offered her the ring again, as he didn't know what else to do with it.
Under those circumstances, she finally accepted.) Seriously, the only
exception here are toe-rings and MAYBE pinkie rings. The rest of them can
cause misunderstandings or at least a Discussion.
And, there you have
it! My totally pretentious list of what kind of jewelry to give when.
Oh, and did I mention my birthday is coming up? No large items, please,
I'm running out of storage space. But a nice pair of earrings or a
necklace...S'ok. I never wear rings anyway. Well, not often.
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