Wednesday, May 29th, 2003 - What I did on my Wiscon Vacation, part 2 I should take a moemnt and fill in things I've remembered since last time. I met Barth Anderson on Friday and got to talk to him briefly, but then only chatted with him in passing at parties from then on. Very sad that we didn't get to hang out more, especially since he mentions on his site that he wishes he'd gotten a chance to talk to me and Tim more, too. Barth is also now very close to my heart for posting maybe the best recent photo of me I've seen. I haven't been happy with how I look in photos for awhile now, but obviously the key is to take the photo from slightly above me and/or to let Barth do it. I also met Gwenda Bond on Friday night, and it was me who Tim overheard saying, "I didn't know Gwenda Bond looks like a blonde bombshell 1940's movie star." She's just lovely (and talented!); she's another person I didn't get to chat with as much as I wanted to over the weekend. Ah well, there's always next year. (Note, the above was written about 5 days before the rest of this entry. Just so you know why the tone changes.) My mood is not as floaty as it was the last entry, but I'll try to do a decent job of finishing up my con report. So, after the SH tea party, I won my bid on an art piece and went to dinner at a yummy Italian restaurant with Jenn and Tim. Really, we need to see Jenn more often; she's only a 6 hour drive away, and I just love hanging out with her. We went back to the room and dressed for the dessert banquet. Our friends had snagged a table near the back for all of us: it was me, Tim, Nick, Susan, Matt, Jenn, Lisa, and Karen. The desserts were at a table in the back, and people were practically shoving each other in order to get their sweets; it was kind of surreal, actually. I grabbed some chocolate sushi (interseting) and a carmel cake that I didn't want, but dammit I was entitled to two desserts and it was the only thing left (and I was lucky to get it, actually). Later, Nick scored a black forest piece of cake and traded it to me for the caramel, so that worked out nicely. Sitting at the table was really nice, actually. Everyone was all dressed up, more or less, and it was all my favorite people there. Nick thrilled me by managing to horrify a few of the more academically minded folks at the table with tales of his illicit term-paper-writing job (hee!). I am very fond of Nick; he's got this edge to him and he likes to stir shit up occasionally, and I don't think I could shock him (and I can shock many, many people), so I'm very comfy around him. But underneath it all, he's a real sweetie. Nick also stopped while we were walking back from the bar and introduced me to China (yes, I've met him before and I even think China knew this, but we both shook hands as if we hadn't met before anyway). The physical contact of shaking hands with China made me blush (damn damn damn, I HATE it when I blush; I never used to blush before! It used to be my thing: Heather is shameless, you can't make her blush!). It was at that moment that I decided that this crush on China is fucking ridiculous; I can't *function* around him, I have this physical reaction that makes it hard to keep a straight face and act like a normal human being. Bleah. I mean, I'm not a schoolgirl! I'm only four months younger than China and I should be able to walk up and have a conversation with him without my palms sweating (I seem to be over the dropping things on myself phase, thank the gods). I have decided the next time I see China I'm going to walk up to him and say, "Hey, good to see you, how's it going?" like I would to any other normal person. Fuck this hero worship shit, I'm sick of it myself. Ahem. Ok, so, yeah. The Guest of Honor speeches were pretty damn good this year. Carol Emschwiller's was long and personal and I had a great sense of the richness of her long life when she was done. China's was less personal, but he had only notecards and was an awesome speaker, very casual and comfortable up there (he's in politics, so it follows). He spoke about children and reading levels and . . . well, honestly, the particulars are fading by this point (sad!). Then there was the Tiptree awards ceremony, which is the first one I've seen at Wiscon. The very tall John Kessel (this year's co-winner with M. John Harrison, who wasn't there) was made to kneel and be crowned with a tiara by the very short Hiromi Goto (last year's winner). Then he gave a kick-ass speech, managing to put into words ideas about men and feminism that I've had kicking around my head for years but had never been able to express in any coherent way before. I was very impressed with his speech. Ok, moving along. The Small Beer Party was very fun. Talked to Tim and Mike Caufield for awhile, then floated away and tried to get up the nerve to talk to China for far too long. When I finally did, someone came up and pulled him away, which annoyed me. At one point, I was so damn distracted by the man that I forgot, when talking about Flytrap, to mention Nick's column and was horrified when poor Nick (who wasn't about to let me get away with that) had to say, "HEY! What about my column!" I make it sound like I was following China around like a puppy dog, but that actually isn't true. I was just aware of where he was at all times, more than I wanted to be. But most of the party, I was enjoying my friends, hanging out and talking and trying not to be sad that this was the last night of Wiscon this year. I was pretty touchy-feely, actually, petting people's arms and scritching them behind the ears affectionately. I kinda wish I was comfy being that physical with my friends all the time, as I think the world would be a nicer place if we all touched more. There's a long, introspective entry that relates to all this, but I'm still working on it and in the end, it may be something I want to keep private. We'll have to see. Monday morning I had breakfast with Tim and Jenn and Nick, and later we all ended up sitting around the airport together. The plus side of repeatedly thinking that this is the last time you're going to see this person for awhile is that you get lots of cozy goodbye hugs :-) Jenn and Lisa were on our flight from Madison to Chicago, which was delayed an hour. While Tim sorted out our tickets (rather, waited in line to sort out our connection, which we were going to miss) I got to sit and chill with Nick for awhile, which was really fun, for sitting on the floor in an airport. It made me realize even more how little I get to see of all these very cool people, how I wish I could just fly off and visit them whenever I liked. It's not fair, that we're scattered about the country like this. I like the idea of buying a huge plot of land and having everyone build a house on it so we can build a community, but that's a pipe dream and even if it somehow happened, not everyone could do it. ANYway, to sum up: good con! Miss all of you very much (even those of you who weren't there -- especially you guys, since it's been even longer since I've seen you). If you're going to be in the Bay Area, do drop me an email and let's try to get together, ok? Until next year . . . Wistcon

Exercise Log: Really must get going on this soon. Writing log: Getting back to work on the YA Novel. Words written since last entry: Current Publications: "Famishing" in Strange Horizons. My first pro sale! "Wetting the Bed" and a collab with Tim Pratt, "A Serious Case of Fairies" in Floodwater "How to Suck" reprinted in From Porn to Poetry: Clean Sheets Celebrates the Erotic Mind Currently Reading: Rabid Transit the second one, I can't remember the subtitle right now . . . The Journal of Pulse Pounding Narratives etc. Donate money to my teeth, my grad school application fees, our writerly projects (Floodwater and Flytrap!). Every little bit helps!

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