Wednesday, November 6th, 2002 - Grocery Lists Tim mentioned recently that I hadn't updated in quite some time, and I checked and damn, he's right again. How does this happen? First off, yes, we tried to vote. No, we didn't wait longer than 15 minutes. We moved maybe 5 feet in those 15 minutes, and there were lots and lots of folks ahead of us. We think they combined precincts because the didn't have enough of the new machines. Guess what, they *still* don't have enough machines for all those people. San Francisco had 60% of their precincts run out of ballots and people were turned away. This is so fucking not right. They really are trying to turn voting into an irrelevant act. Tim's comment is that we're living in a Banana Republic -- the elections are fixed. This is ridiculous. I'm seriously beginning to think about becoming more involved in campaigns; either that or emmigrate. I'm sort of in a weird emotional place. I'm not sure whether I'm stressed and nervous and scared and weepy or if I'm happy and bouncy and with-it and having fun. Seriously. So weird. Have had annoying doctor's visits lately. Kaiser has been jerking me around, cancelling appointments I've had for three months the day before and wanting to reschedule for three months later. I did manage to get in one appointment recently -- basically the same procedure I had three months ago, but this time with a real doctor instead of a nurse practioner. The part that was painless last time made me cramp so painfully that I started to throw up, but the part that hurt like hell last time was hardly anything this time. I want to give the doctor credit for being gentle. I'm pretty much planning on insisting on him every time, if only so they don't call me up again and say "The nurse messed up; you need to see the doctor so he can get it right." Argh. I feel like I can't write recently; everything is clunking when I read it back to myself. But! I'm past due for a journal entry, so I shall press on . . . Anyway, part of what I'm stressed about is the doctor and the dentist, but another big part is the grad school app thing. It took me the better part of 4 hours to put together packets requesting recommendations this past weekend. I was not expecting it to take so long, to say the least. After the first two I ran out and bought labels, which helped, but there's lots you have to fill in by hand. Very frustrating. Also have the GRE coming up. My study sessions have faded down to nothing. I must must must take a whole practice test this weekend, dammit. On the plus side, I got a raise -- over 10%. Yay! Of course, I deserved at least that much because I've been doing the bookbuying part of the job since Feb for no extra compensation, and I've been doing a damn good job of it, too. Anyway, the money is desperately needed and comes at a good time. So, the plan for this weekend is to get to the 20 things on my to-do list that I haven't gotten to yet. Stuff like "write personal statements" and "revise WWW12" and "write a first draft of a new story" and "read Flytrap subs" and "tie back the bourganviella so it doesn't scratch the hell out of us when we get the mail anymore" and "finish art project that is currently taking up the entire dining room table" and "make cookies" and "fill out grad school apps" and "study for GRE" and "clean room so you can walk through it without causing an avalanche at the very least" and "Xmas list!" and "buy Tim X" and "sell clothes that don't fit" and "workout" and "get enough rest" and "relax and have a good time". Stuff like that. I think part of my problem is that I'm trying to go 2 months in a row without having a period. When you're on the pill, you have that option -- indeed, they recommend it (women are having more periods than they used to; we're just not pregnant as often as our foremothers). But now I'm not sure what my moods are about. Usually, there's normal week, horny week (ahem), weepy week and cranky week. Not that I was happy with that arrangement, but at least I knew to steel myself for those last two. Now it's happy hour followed by horny evening, followed by cranky day, followed by weepy hour, followed by horny evening (yes, yes), followed by bouncy night, followed by ridiculously happy morning . . . well, you get the idea. Much more up and down and more frequently. (Hee! I just reread that last bit and it can be taken in completely the wrong way. But, it amuses me greatly, so I'll leave it.) Hm, I think I'm into listing stuff off tonight. Regardless, I think I need some sleep. So I shall go about making that happen soon. Good night, all. Make your own lists

Exercise Log: Some bicycling, but that was a couple weeks ago. Sigh. Writing log: Yeah, y'know, sometimes I think the embarrassing silence in this space is why I don't update more often. Sent out famishing. Almost edited WWW12. I suck. Current Publications: The Children of the Moon in Strange Horizons. In the Shade of You nominated in the long poem category for the Rhysling and will be reprinted in the 2002 Rhysling Anthology! "How to Suck" reprinted in From Porn to Poetry: Clean Sheets Celebrates the Erotic Mind I've been reading: Currently Reading: I'm a Stranger Here Myself by Bill Bryson Read recently: Lots. (The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents and Night Watch by Prattchet and the entire run of Preacher comix. And some of Bryson's A Walk in the Woods, which I'll finish soon.)

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