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Where to begin? Well, first of all J did not come. As Jodi said, "He'd
rather stay home and masturbate." Ok, fine with me. As it was, our car
was so loaded down with stuff, and then we bought all sorts of other
stuff, that he wouldn't have fit in a million years. So that was
good. But, of course, I was a third wheel. Not that Carol and Jodi don't love me, but they're really in love and all wrapped up in each other. And (I didn't know this until Thursday) Thanksgiving is their anniversary. So, Seer (Jodi's brother) and I got to watch them be all cuddly. Then I got to drive around with them, feeling very alone. But I'll get to that in a minute. Seer and I were supposed to hook up. That was everyone's plan but mine. Seer is in a similar situation to my own; he is broken up with his ex, but they still hang out all the time and love each other a lot, but it's obvious it's not going to work right now. What was sad was that we were so much in the same space, and we could've at least hung out and comforted each other by talking, but I was so withdrawn that I only had the most superficial of conversations with him. And he's a smart guy - not only the computer geek stuff, but books and other humanities-type topics seemed right up his alley. And I'm so not wanting to connect with anyone new that I only got the surface of what he had to offer. It was sad, really. I hope I meet him again sometime when I'm able to pay attention to someone new. Jodi, Carol and I got a hotel room with a jacuzzi for the last two nights we were up there. 'Twas nice, but again, I felt a bit of a third wheel. We spent far too much money and time shopping and only spent about an hour and half walking through the redwoods on Saturday. Carol occasionally made an attempt at including me by asking what I wanted to do. After having my suggestions vetoed by Jodi the first 3 times, I gave up and answered truthfullly enough: "I'm doing whatever you guys are doing." I'm not angry about this, I had just decided to accept it. It made it easier. It was a lonely time, even though I was with close friends. Those two are so comfortable around me they don't feel the need to pay any attention or heed to me at all. Which is a wonderful thing, but I began to doubt my existence after a day or two. I would occasionally bring up something I wanted to talk about, but I'd have to fight to keep it on topic. Oh well. Really, it was beautiful up there, and the air is so clean and the countryside is so wild. On the way home, I watched the countryside slowly fill up with restaurants, gas stations and buisnesses. We had stopped first in Ferndale, which is a delightful Victorian town up north, founded by Seth Shaw in 1843 (I think). It was creepy, walking into their graveyard and seeing the first big mausoleum with my last name platered across it. The graveyard was cool; it was terraced up the side of a hill behind a huge church (which was for sale; I know all about C&J's plans to buy it and make it into a school. I told them I'd teach there if they bought it.). The property the graveyard is on is prime real estate; it's at the end of town, and is the only bit that comes close enough to a hill you could build on to overlook the town. The town itself was beautiful, all quiet and quaint, with Victorian gingerbread out the wazoo, and streets you didn't have to wait to cross. It reminded me of Franklin, but with cooler people (generally). All over the place today. I'll make a better stab at this later today. | ||
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