© 1998, 1999 by Arden Schaeffer, 1932-2032?, author and webster
Edition of 1999/05/10
, at URL:
http://users.lmi.net/arden/in.english/humor/humor.html
Table of Contents | End of Page
Table of Contents
- A pair of garden tools
- Mary and her boyfriend are garden tools.
Mary's a hoe, and her boyfriend's a rake.
Contents
- angle of dangle
- In geometry it is known that the obelisk stands at the apex of the angle of dangle. See proportionality. | Contents
- Aquatic farewell
- American speaking French: Au reservoir.
- Frenchman speaking English: Tanks.
Contents
- buying clothing in France
- When in France, don't buy clothing in Toulouse or Toulon, else it'll be too loose or too long.
Contents
- Q. What's the difference between the Western Religions?
- A.:
- Muslims and Jews wash their hands after they have sex.
- Pagans wash theirs before.
- When Christians think of having sex,
they wash their hands instead.
Contents
- Q. How can one obtain holy water?
- A. Boil the hell out of it. | Contents
- Lifesaver
- In an old folks' home, a horny old lady asks a second old lady what she does when she gets horny. The second says that she sucks on a Lifesaver. The first says: "That sounds like fun. Who drives you to the beach?"
Contents
- neutron asks price of beer
- A neutron walked up to a bar and ordered a beer. The bartender drew a beer and set in on the counter. The neutron asked: "How much?" The bartender said: "For you, there's no charge." | Contents
- obelisk
- In geometry it is known that the obelisk stands at the apex of the angle of dangle. See proportionality. | Contents
- pipeline in the state of Virginia
- Headline says of a pipeline in the state of Virginia:
Ten men die laying Virginia Pipeline.
Contents
- proportionality, direct and inverse
- In the science of physics it is known that the angle of dangle is inversely proportional to the heat of the meat, which is directly proportional to the mass of the ass, which is thus inversely proportional to the resultant angle of dangle, at whose apex stands the obelisk, as is well known in geometry. | Contents
- Q. What's the world's shortest bedtime story?
- A. "No." | Contents
- What Lesbians do in bed
- While browing in a bookshop, i came by chance upon a book written by a lesbian about lesbians, skimmed through it, found a chapter entitled "What lesbians do in bed", read it, and found that it bore within itself irrefutable internal evidence of its own authenticity. In summary, the author said that what lesbians do in bed is this: they strip off their clothing, get into bed naked, and, once naked in bed, they eat fried chicken with their fingers. "All lesbians do this" she said. I'm still rolling on the floor laughing.
Contents
( v. "humour" & "Papagaio.ttxt")
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