| The weekend was lovely, which is ironic,
considering I was expecting it to be just horrible. I had a nice time
Friday night with David, even if we both fell asleep for an unplanned 2
hour nap right after dinner. I saw my new counselor on Saturday
afternoon. I was in the middle of a multi-directional rant on my life,
when the skies opened up and started pouring rain. (I was watching this
through the window which was over her shoulder). I kept going, but paused
when it started hailing, "Ok! Ok, I'll stop with the tangents!" She
seems really cool, but I choked when I found out how much counseling is!
I'd only been while in school, where it's free! So, I guess I'm not
saving up to buy anything anytime soon. | |
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| I drove down to the South Bay to visit Carol
and Jodi Saturday night. I saw my first episode of Ally McBeal, which I
liked well enough. It's not that I don't like sitcoms, it's just that I
get hooked and I really dislike spending that much of my time in front of
the TV. Sunday morning we walked halfway to the farmer's market when I
mentioned the fact that it was Easter, which reminded them that the market
wouldn't be open. Oh well. We walked to the park instead, where Jodi and
I fed ducks, aiming our bready morsels towards the mallards and other
favorite fowl, and away from the annoying geese. She and I had an
enlightening conversation about our lives. I have a lot of shit to deal
with these days, but she did most of the talking and you know what? I
think that was really good. Part of having good female friends is that
you get to listen to their problems and think about them and give them
really good advice that you could never give yourself. It's the
perspective that's so important... it's not my life I'm talking about, so
I can be objective. Giving advice also means thinking about something
hard enough and then saying your mind with confidence and compassion. It
actually took me a while to warm up to the task, but once I got started it
hit me just how damn long it's been since I've done anything like that.
After a lovely afternoon spent mostly outdoors (despite my hat, I'm
all rosy- cheeked), we drove to Santa Cruz, where we met Chris and Flindy
(a lovely Irish lass) and walked (a forced march really - too fast, even
if we were late, we missed the Star Wars trailer anyway) to the theatre to
see The Matrix which isn't as bad as everyone thinks it might be.
Of course, I've seen the previews, which meant I'd already seen all the
cool bits (why oh why do they do this?? Can't they save SOMETHING for the
big screen?). After the movie, I drove back to David's, watched the
Simpsons (good episode) and Futurama (NOT following this one to Tuesday
nights - yawn) which he had taped for me. I ate Ethiopian food (4 times
in 4 days, ugh!) and he took me home. Not necessarily in that
order. | |
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| Last night we (Aron, David and I to begin
with) went to the opening game of the A's (vs. the Yankees). There were
26 of us, planning to sit together in the bleachers. Of course, the 5 of
us who went off to reserve seats never did find the other 21, but oh well.
It was cold. Then it rained. A lot. I'd forgotten my umbrella
(doh!), but the woman sitting next to me (Christine), who was already
sharing my blanket (which David didn't want me to bring, silly boy),
shared her poncho with me. Poor David just got rained on (and his
scorecard got smeared, which may have been the greater tragedy). There
was a 47 minute rain delay (David notes these things), after which the
game resumed. I saw my first major league home run (several, actually),
and I got to hear the WHOMP! of Roger Clemen's fastball hitting the
catcher's mitt (and we were sitting behind the outfield). Christine and I
hit it off well, singing random tunes together to entertain ourselves.
But, when it began to rain again in the top of the 9th (I think), I gently
reminded David that we said we'd leave if it rained again, but he managed
to get me to stay until they called another rain delay. We joined the
masses of wet, tired fans and even managed to find a seat for the BART
ride home. But, believe it or not, I had fun. (I think this is mostly
Christine's influence, though). | |
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| David and I had tea to warm up when we got
back to my place (poor baby, he was soaked). We ended up having a pretty
good talk about space. David told me that he didn't mind me being around
so much as feeling like he always had to entertain me. Now, instead of
getting hurt by this, I thought about it for a minute. I realized that we
spend almost ALL of our time at his place. Back when he used to come over
to hang out at *my* place (8-9 months ago - geesh!), there *would* be
longer periods of time where I'd go off and putter, leaving him to read
alone for awhile. But, at his place, I can't use idle time to clean my
desk or put away clothes or any of the other little chores I need to do.
Of course I get bored; of course I want him to pay attention to me. I've
been trying to get us to hang out at my place for some time now (since
last November or so, but especially since Aron moved in and I like my
house again), but since he's the dominant personality, he's always going
to prefer his own place. And I hadn't realized until last night what an
influence this factor was having on our relationship. I just hope it's
not too late to do anything about it. | |
| | |
| Lesee...I need to call Todd and see if Leigh
is still living in Bloomington. I need a place to stay the night before
Kellie's wedding, and I think it'll be worth the hour drive just to save
hotel fares for one night. If she's got the space. The night after the
wedding, I'll stay in the Holiday Inn, and the next day Holly and I are
going to Lothlorien. | |
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| Lothlorien. We're going to try and invite
some of the people we love from (or associated with) Lothlorien to meet us
there. Not that I don't want to have solitude and time alone with my
sister, but I'd also love it if by late afternoon we had a small, informal
gathering, maybe with some drumming and such. I miss that place sorely!
It was my spiritual life, and I've been out here almost 2 years and I've
yet to find a replacement for it in this area. Sigh. Earth, I feel you
under my feet
Mother, I feel your heart beat
Aya aya aya aya aya aya
oh!
Aya aya aya aya ayyyyy-oohhhhhh!
(repeat)
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