Dear Diary . . . day by day

Friday, August 10th, 2001 - Picky Miss

Living with your lover sounds like such a good idea. Snuggling at all hours, a shoulder to cry on, someone to cheer your victories with you, sex at all hours (assuming you're both in the mood), someone to help you indulge your ice cream urges without getting hit on in the liquor store around the corner . . . and those things are so, so nice.
But, the one thing I hadn't expected was the self-realization. Living now just two weeks with Tim I have made a horrible discovery:
I'm an incredibly picky person.
Seriously, I always thought I wasn't so bad, you know? Sure, food left on the plates after they've supposedly been washed annoys me, but that's reasonable, yes? And, I've never pretended that I wasn't irrationally anal about the condition of my books; I've been known to keep paperbacks in such pristine condition (no bent pages, spines or fuzzy edges to the cover) that you'd swear they'd never been read. But aside from the book thing, I thought I was pretty easy going.
Living with Tim has shown me an ugly, "things should be done MY way" side of me that I never suspected was there. And I still am having trouble facing it.
Examples: the washcloth should be spread out so it can dry evenly, not folded into thirds, when hung up to dry. Shades should be closed when leaving the house. Do not leave the laptop open on the edge of the desk if you're done using it; what if there was an earthquake?! No wet towels on the bed; in fact, wet towels should be hung up in the manner of wet washcloths. No, no, that sponge is used for wiping down countertops, cabinets and the floor, don't use it on the dishes!!!! Is this really the best place we can keep your shoes? That's my favorite drinking glass for water, please use another for your sprite. Please don't dunk your fingers in my drinking water to clean your glasses with. And, while you're cleaning your glasses, it's cheaper if you use a kleenex rather than a whole papertowel.
Ahem. Yeah. Okay, so I'm a little picky.
(I should mention that Tim's being, more or less, very good about all this. Sure, sometimes he gets annoyed, but he is actually pretty easy-going, overall. Which is a good thing.)
It's a delicate process, learning to live with your lover. You have less time than you'd think, more distractions, probably more arguments. Every day you're grouchy is a day the other person sees you grouchy (and vice versa); there are no "well, thank gods he isn't seeing me like this!" moments anymore.
But, there's also less loneliness, hardly a chance for it, in fact. There's rolling over in your sleep to see the face you love more than any other sleeping peacefully beside you. I'll bitch and moan sometimes, but, honestly, I wouldn't trade this for the world.

Exercise log:
I was going to do some situps today, I swear!
Writing log:
Finished a wretched first draft of my Midnight Robber article; with work, it may be good. Went to the library and researched another article I'm writing.
I'm currently reading:
Genuis of Deceit by Tim Pratt
Sister Noon by Karen Joy Fowler

On Becoming A Novelist by John Gardner
My new PO Box is:
Heather Shaw
P.O. Box 13222
Berkeley, CA 94712-4222

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