Wednesday, February 27th 2002 - Black Forest Piece of Cake
Today at work I stood in the doorway with Cate and Shawna while the Hell's Angel's roared by for at least 5 solid minutes. That's a lot of motorcycles. So, the big news: I started my novel! I think it was Monday, on the way to or from work that I was sitting on BART and thinking that I should write but wasn't sure what. Then I thought about how I know what the first scene of my novel was going to be and how it's never going to get written if I keep putting off writing that first scene and then, well, I wrote it. Just like that! Poof! First scene of my novel! Whoo! Monday night I let myself revise "Famishing" in hopes that I can get some crits on it and revise it again and get some more crits, etc, until I'm really very, very happy with it. Tim gets first pass, then probably David. Then we'll see. I might try recruiting a few new readers, because as different as those two men are, they're unlikely to encompass every opinion . . . Anyway, Tuesday morning I wrote on Forest (working title of the novel; I have the full title, but I'm being all weird and secretive about it for now) all the way to work. Tim has been very supportive, very excited for me. Me, I've been ecstatic. This morning on the BART there were no seats, so no writing. But, on the way home I managed to finish the first chapter and get a solid start on chapter 2. It's all hand-written, so it's hard to give you a good word-count, but chapter 1 is probably close to 2000 words. I'm assuming this is a very rough draft and that I'll have to rewrite and add layers many times before it's all over. For now, all I want is a draft. I can't remember the last time I've written so easily, so freely. It's akin to how I write when I do collabs with Tim; I somehow turn off my internal editor and just let myself write, have fun with the characters, make them interact and talk and do all the cool shit I want them to. I don't worry about, well, making it into art, the way I do with short stories. I think it helps that my goal is to just write a draft of a novel; just tell the story well, and let it flow. I don't expect it to be high art; this is my first novel, it's practice, it's fun. This book is to prove to myself that I can do it, that I am capable of sitting down and putting 100,000 words together in a coherent story. Secretly, I hope it'll come out good, publishable, maybe even award-worthy, but that I will worry about more in revision. For now, I do nothing but write. Gods, it feels good. I feel possible. I can do this thing. I'm sure other things in my life are interesting too - work, Buffy, working out, boyfriend - but unless it relates to writing (which, thank the gods, Tim does), I'm not much interested in talking about it too much. In fact, I'm probably boring to most people right now - sweet Tim is very tolerant when I respond to an unrelated conversation with a sudden insight about my plot or setting. Honestly, I couldn't do this without Tim. It was him sitting down with me last summer and listening to my novel idea and confirming/ talking it over with me that made me think it was even worthy of wriitng. But, having him around - someone who has done this not once, but 4.5 times before - is priceless. I can bounce ideas off him, work through problem spots, reason out character motivations. I'm coming up with lots of cool shit myself, but Tim sometimes thinks of it too, and there's at least one small and one big "cool shit ideas" that Tim basically handed to me for this book. It's my book, understand, but Tim's support is invaluable. Ah, well, I think I'll let this crowing stand for tonight's entry. Talk to you all soon!	Exercise Log: Stretching at home a half an hour a night, both Monday (when Tim convinced me he truly is a bad influence by persuading me to skip the gym) and Tuesday. Tonight, a 10 minute situp class, followed by stretching and 20 minutes on the precor. Whoo. I feel good. Writing log: See entry. Current Publications: "How to Suck" reprinted in From Porn to Poetry: Clean Sheets Celebrates the Erotic Mind I'm currently reading: Skin Folk stories by Nalo Hopkinson Books on Tape (usually while exercising): Fierce Invalids Home from Hot Climates by Tom Robbins.
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