Mail is welcome.
gryffyn@there.net | index of journals | home
|
As I said, I've been reading (and am almost done, but trying to make it
last) Cunt
by Inga Muscio. I love this book. It's gotten me all
riled up about issues that I thought I'd lost my passion about in college.
Seriously, read this book. It takes a look at womyn's issues by pointing
out how we're still, still playing on a patriarchal game board
with all the cool pieces (even the queens) being played by men. It made
me realize that a lot of what I've considered "maturity" and "good
manners" are just cultural influences made up to keep me quiet and in my
place. What happened to my voice? I used to be the most vocal,
easily-riled up girl in my high school (ok, so I wasn't the most vocal,
but I was the most vocal about women's rights). I was laughed at,
poo-poohed. Sure, some of the teachers took me seriously, but I wonder
how much of that was just because I made classroom discussions that much
more interesting and full of conflict. I had no idea how to get my
message across, but that didn't stop me from trying every chance I
got. Now, I still don't know how to get that message across. But at least, thanks to Ms. Muscio, I've remembered the message. Problem with the message is that it doesn't fit in a neat slogan. You can tell a woman the message in such a way that she'll avoid you and discard your thoughts as "too radical". I'm almost afraid to voice the message until I know I've got the slant on it that will work best. I don't want to lose my chance to spread this message like wildfire just because I was discredited early on by ill-thought-out ranting. I know, fuck fear. I'll try. One of my favorite chapters in this book is about Acrimony. She tells a story about a woman from Iran, where women are "shamed, slienced or killed for many vagrancies Americans guilelessly take for granted." (Muscio, p.133). She points out that in such an obviously oppressive society, women are much more aware of each other. "With so much more at stake, Iranian women have each other's back: on the street, in stores, at celebrations, everywhere." (Ibid) This woman finally made her break and arrived in the United States, land of the free. And what did she find? Women, not bonded together against an obvious male dominance as it is in her country, hating one another. Women holding each other to beauty standards dictated by a male power structure. Women being catty. The Iranian woman freaked. Even though she has all the freedoms of an American woman now, she mourns the loss of a "general, loving woman vibe that was once part of her normal reality." (Ibid). This just makes me wanna cry. For one thing, I am ashamed of how much I have perpetuated this acrimony. I've actually PRIDED myself on my cattiness at times, mistaking it for a sharpness of wit I've always admired and feel I've seldom attained. Not that I haven't yearned for a closer community of women, but I've been unable, at times, to see that to get there, we've gotta stop hating our sisters. Luckily, Muscio doesn't waste a lot of time laying blame. She guides us through, describing her battle with this hatred and how she found learning about a woman's history makes it that much harder to hate her and that much easier to understand her. So, the rest of this entry is going to be about how much I want to find this community. No, not find. Make. Create. Become a vital force in. I'm a long way from even knowing where to start, so I'm starting with educatin' myself on what's been done so far. This weekend I spent several hours in the magazine section of Cody's bookstore (I know, I know, I should've gone to Mama Bear's Books just down the street, but I was looking for literary mags to submit stories to as well) perusing the periodicals for women's magazines (and I don't mean Cosmo or Allure). Last night I spent some time reading "Bust" and "Bitch" (which I think is online, in which case I'll link that up as soon as I find it), and I was thrilled at how damn interested I was in every article. Each and every article got me riled up in some way, or captured my imagination in a way that other periodicals just haven't. I can't believe I've never picked up a magazine like this before. I'm buying a subscription. Another thing I want to do...well, this is a little trickier, as I don't know exactly how I want this to come about, but I want a girlfriend. I don't think I've made it a secret that I'm a little bi. But, I've never had an out-n-out girlfriend. I know enough of the lesbian community to know that an unsure woman like me is likely to be met with caution at best, so I'm unwilling to fling myself on that community. But, well, I wouldn't be opposed to meeting a nice woman with whom I could be very close. I'm not even yearning for sex; I'm yearning for affection. For that closeness that only two women can share. For sisterhood (Holly, this is all your fault for going away for so long!), for my own little community of women. I want something like the feeling I get when I'm with Carol and Jodi, only I want to be part of my own pair. If you read Xeney. then you've already seen this link to an open letter to the creators of Buffy the Vampire Slayer begging them to let Willow be gay. It's a great article, and I don't think that just because I've been hoping and hoping and hoping, ever since that "Hush" episode, that they'd let her have a relationship with the cute Wiccan girl. Yeah, I'd love it if her character discovered her bi side in college. I'm already in love with every strong female character on that show (which would be, gee, most of them...all of them?) and I would love to see that strength and validation be shared with the gay community as well. Besides, it would make my fantasies that much more vivid... | ||
| Previous
| Next List of Entries for this Month | Journal Index | Current Entry Home |