Tuesday, January 29th, 2002 - Nestled in Nectar
Last night I spent many hours on the heating pad. This is probably a good thing, as my back isn't spasm-ing with pain today the way it was yesterday. It's distressing, having so much physical pain and not knowing what to do about it. I suppose I should call Kaiser and make an appointment; at least physical therapy, if they go that route again, will be only a few blocks from my house rather than down by Oakland airport at the other end of a traffic nightmare (both ways). Still, I'm reluctant to start the ball rolling; before, I had no job and I *still* felt as if it was taking an ungodly amount of my time. I know, I know, my health should come first. Need to pay my bills and get back into the gym. I think more than a little of this is the fact that it's been two weeks since we've worked out. I think my dreams of starting light weigh-lifting are over, though, at least for now. But swimming might be an option. Should probably talk with a doctor first. Anyway. Remember the hummingbird nest I told you about a few weeks ago? Well, the past few days we haven't seen beak nor tail of Hazel, the mommy bird. This has started me worrying (I'm *good* at worrying), and last night I took a flashlight and gently lowered the windchimes with the nest to peek inside. Nestled within were two tiny little fuzzy birds, shivering very slightly. They seemed to be alive, despite the disappearance of the mother, so I resisted my urge to bring the nest inside to keep them warm/ try to feed them sugar-water. I'm glad I did! Today I looked up hummingbirds on Google and found the Project Wildlife hummingbird site. The relevant bits from this page: "Nestling Hummingbirds (10-15 days) Baby hummingbirds begin developing "pin" feathers (they look like porcupine quills) at approximately 10 days of age. Normally you see two tiny beaks sticking up above the nest. Mom will stop sitting on her babies at this age. They can now maintain their own body temperature. Many people think that the mother has abandoned her babies when she no longer sits on them. If you have doubts about abandonment, please watch the nest continously for one hour for the return of the mother. She will fly in to feed them, which takes only 3-5 seconds, 4-6 times an hour." Thank goodness for the internet, huh? I'm sure we're just missing those 3-5 seconds of feeding time. I'm so excited at the thought of fledgling hummers on our front porch, I can hardly tell you! We're gonna have to look where we step once they start learning to fly in a few weeks. I spent awhile talking to David last night while Tim napped on the couch. We had a good talk, and it struck me once again how many good friends I have living near me now in the Bay Area. I still have David, but I also have Tim, and my sister (by the end of this week, BOTH be living in my house with me!). Susan lives literally just around the corner. Todd lives down the street (more or less), even though I hardly ever see him, it's nice to know he's around. Kimio lives the other way down the street. Ian and Elle and Leo live in Oakland too. Hell, I have so many friends I hardly have time to see most of them. I've been feeling very loving lately. Part of this is Tot's fault; he's so damn cute and sweet and lovable that it makes my biological clock go nuts. I have been craving, yearning babies lately (as in, having one of my own). My biological clock is working overtime; never before have I wanted a child this badly for this long. I'm also wanting a wedding. This is probably Jenn's fault; I'm very excited about going to her and Kenny's wedding, and thinking about it makes me think about marrying Tim someday. I find myself caught up in wedding spreads in newspapers and magazines. Tim finds this a little distressing, which I don't understand, as we know we're gonna marry one another someday anyway. Perhaps it's my longing for frou-frou and prettiness that frightens him; supposedly, ours is not going to be a HUGE wedding, when it finally happens. (Yeah, right.) And, finally, I find myself just liking people in general. Distant folks I have sporadic email contact with I find myself really looking forward to meeting this year at cons. I read journals and smile wistfully, thinking about sitting down and having tea with Greg or Shmuel or wishing I was near enough to have a crafts weekend with Mary Anne. These are but a few of the folks I've been reading/ thinking about lately. This isn't exactly like me. I even find myself thinking about people I don't talk to anymore, wishing things had gone differently, surprised to find myself liking them in spite of myself. It's just odd, is all. Perhaps it's my upcoming birthday party. RSVP's are coming in, and I'm getting very excited about the group of folks I'll have over this year. For the first time out here, I'll have Holly at my party. This year there's a Tim. And a Susan. And, and, and . . . There are lots of new friends that I invited this year, and it's a very warm, fuzzy feeling, knowing I have so many cool friends I can invite to my party. Yeah, warm fuzzy about sums it up.	Exercise log: I walk. I walk hard. Writing log: Oh, and the same day I got the nice rejection from Strange Horizons, I sent the story right back out to Realms. Go me. Huh? Yes, the mommy story is coming along slowly. Thanks. Current Publications: "How to Suck" reprinted in From Porn to Poetry: Clean Sheets Celebrates the Erotic Mind I'm currently reading: Prodigal Summer by Barbara Kingsolver Northern Gothic by Nick Mamatas Books on Tape (usually while exercising): Fierce Invalids Home from Hot Climates by Tom Robbins.
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