Dear Diary . . . day by day

Monday, July 17th - Conflict
So, upon reading Mary Anne's comments on conflict in relationships, I was reminded of something our prof (teacher? He seems too friendly and informal to be our prof) keeps telling us in my writing class: "Those who avoid conflict in their real lives tend to avoid it in their writing. Conflict is essential to your stories - use it."
Or something like that. I wonder, each time he tells us that, if he's just trying to provide a little free psycho-therapy for the collection of writer's souls he has in his charge, but then again, he does have a point. One of the reasons "Girl, Interupted" is so popular is because of the verisimilitude of the conflict. Not that every last thing you read/see has to be realistic to the point of being raw, but most human beings interact in not-so-nice ways, and it's important for fiction to capture that sort of friction.
Of course, I think Mary Anne has conflict in her writing - but it's more restrained - especially in the Sri Lankan cycle of stories. And, well, culturally that makes sense, I think. I didn't grow up in that culture, but from what I've seen (warning: great generalization coming) conflict is to be avoided at all costs, and things are not talked about as openly as they might be elsewhere. Regardless of what the cultural background is, there is a different kind of conflict here - not as open, and perhaps (and this is just my opinion) more painful to those involved?
Again, I don't really know, as I don't play that way. I am not afraid of fighting. I suppose I can look at my upbringing (sorry, Mom) and see a good whallop of MidWestern brashness when it comes to working things out. I am aware that all human beings - no matter how in control of themselves they often are - are capable of saying things they do not mean (or do mean, but only in the heat of the moment); it happens, and it's good to realize that and not take it personally forever and ever. If you can't accept that, then you're limiting what other people can say to you - you're censoring their speech. You're afraid of conflict.
I am not afraid of conflict. Recently, I've been more aware of its coming, and I've been avoiding the "old" conflicts (example: stuff David and I have been over so many times that we no longer hear certain words/phrases when the other one says them); but the new conflicts I'm very willing to work out. And to do that, well, sometimes you gotta just tell someone how you're REALLY feeling right then. Sure, I try to wait and let some of the steam go away, but then again, sometimes you need people to realize what the immediate effect is on you, and the only way to do that is to have it out. It's a good thing, I think; it gives the other person license to tell you what THEY really think as well; it can be very enlightening.
And it makes for great fiction. :-)
Exercise log:
Kaylei likes to be picked up and carried around, and I like to indulge that; hey, my shoulders ache like I lifted weights, so it counts.
Writing log:
Ahem.
I'm currently reading:
Infinity Box by Kate Wilhelm
Slowly reading:
Stars in My Pocket Like Grains of Sand by Samuel R. Delany

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