Dear Diary . . . day by day

Friday, June 2nd - Ye Olde Maternal Instinct
I pulled up to Ian and Elle's house at the same time Ian's childhood (and current) friend Aaron did. We approached their house in a kind of quiet awe; it's weird, as we sorta opened the door and went "knock-knock" as we walked in; I felt as if I was visiting friends of my parents or someone I needed to be more formal with. We both felt the rules had suddenly changed.
We were greeted by Lodema, Ian's mom. She had us wait while she checked on Leo availbility/parent stamina. Elle was indisposed, but we were granted entrance into the bedroom where Ian lay with Leo face-down on his chest.
I cooed. I couldn't help it.
Leo was already lifting his head up! I sat gingerly on the side of the bed, but Leo started fussing anyway. Ian sat up slowly, supporting Leo as he laid him down in the groove of his legs, then took off his shirt and pulled the baby close to his skin. Leo instantly settled down as he felt the warmth and familiar scent of his father wash over him.
I put my hands to my mouth, telling Ian what a beautiful, fine son he had. Ian is so doting, so proud. He's incredibly patient and you can tell he thinks this is the most amazing thing that's happened to him. He's glowing as much as Elle. If I could get Fetch to work with this lanminds account, I'd put up pictures to show you his proud papa face gazing at his son . . .
I got to hold him. The first time was a complete failure, as I for some reason was afraid to hold him too close. Lodema came in and gave me tips, and soon I was cuddling this rather-big-for-a-newborn-but-still-tiny baby against my chest. I kept his head away from my breasts, as he'd been suckling Ian earlier in his constant attempts to nurse; the urge to nurse was huge. I managed to keep him content for so long that Ian clipped his fingernails for the first time. The tips were narrower than his fingers, as his fingers were growing almost faster than the nails themselves! My hair kept falling into my face as I bent to sniff the baby - new-baby-smell is the most delicate, sweetest odor I've ever smelled - Lodema or Aaron would pull my hair back so Leo wouldn't grab at it. I was in a state of complete awe - everything was so gentle, so new, so amazingly beautiful and so right. Aaron and I - the outsiders in this scene, certainly - kept exchanging looks. We were both surprised at our reactions to the baby; we couldn't stop looking at him, cooing at him, exclaiming what a wonder baby Ian and Elle had made. It was such an intimate moment, sitting there holding my dear friends' first son, surrounded by everyone's love for each other and our awe in the miracle of childbirth.
When Elle came in I was surprised at how she still glowed. She had trouble sitting down, pulling herself up, and the gingerly way she moved made me aware of how much she'd been through the night before. We talked about birth - I told her how I'd sat with Our Bodies, Ourselves the night before (while she was at home in labor) reading about how your pelvis was supposed to push open with each contraction gradually - "it opens like a flower". "Well," said Elle, "it was certainly hard to think of flowers. It was more like, 'get out! Time to be born! You're getting evicted, let's go! let's go! let's go!'" It was truly a miracle - Elle had been pregnant at the barbeque just a few days before - I'd gone to a movie with them just last Saturday - and here she was, with a baby instead! Beautiful.
Exercise log:
Lifted weights last night: shoulder, sides, calves and abs. Then I held a newborn for 20 minutes; my shoulders are sore!
I'm currently reading:
Foundation and Empire (The second book of the foundation series, although I guess chronologically it's book 4) by Issac Asimov

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