Dear Diary . . . day by day

Monday, June 12th - An Individual, Powerful Woman
The weekend did not go as planned.
This is a story from the end of the weekend. I hope to discuss pagans here at some point, but I need some space from this weekend before I do - I'm being very catty right now, and I'd hate to offend any pagans out there.
This story happened Sunday night. I was walking into Walgreens, on my way over to David's to watch the Simpsons. I had thought I was going to the symphony last night, but it was approaching 8 o'clock and had not heard from the person who had invited me, so I was feeling very down. (This, by the way, was due to my misunderstanding and assuming the invitation was for this week and not the next week . . . sigh.) Thus, my mission at Walgreens was to buy chocolate Ben and Jerry's Ice cream. I also wanted a new, funky nail polish shade. Consolance items.
As I walked in, one of the youngish clerks behind the counter, who has seen me in there a million times and certainly knows me by now, took a double take and said, "Hey there beautiful! How are you doing tonight?"
I gave him a puzzled look. He knows me, I know he knows me, but he was acting as if I'd never walked into that store before. "I'm fine, thanks." I replied; I wasn't in a very good mood, not really.
As I walked over to the $0.99 nail polish rack, I heard him say to his coworker "Did you see her? What a cutie! Mmm-hm!"
I was, to say the least, bewildered. I was wearing just shorts and a t-shirt - nothing special. Then I caught sight of myself in one of the mirrored sides of a makeup rack.
Oh, yeah. I was wearing full makeup for the symphony, which I hadn't washed off yet. Right.
If I had been in a better mood, I think I might have gone up to the guy and been like, "You know me; I come in here all the time; I'm just wearing makeup - does it really make me that much better looking?" I was sorta pissed off at his reaction, once I'd figured out the source. Guys respond way too well to makeup - yes, my eyes are dramatic when they're done up, but they're still pretty when there's nothing on them, too. I hate this. No wonder there are some women out there who won't leave the house without makeup on.
What's even weirder is David's reaction when I got to his place. I told him this story, and his response was, "Oh, yeah, I noticed that you were wearing lipstick, but I didn't notice the rest of it."
"David, the only thing I'm not wearing is lipstick."
"Hmm. Well, I guess the rest of it brings out your lips."
Sorry. I'm a little confused about men and the eternal dance we seem to go through with them. Everything is a bizarre, elaborate mating ritual . . . I don't respond very well when people are attracted only to my looks. It makes me defensive - I have so much else to offer someone - I'm smart, I can write sometimes, I can dance, I have ideas, I'm creative as hell, I'm funny in a very offbeat way, I have my own kind of power - but too often I get people who only see how I look and aren't even interested in anything else. And I have to wonder about that. I mean, ok, you can be attracted, but don't assume I'm potential life-partner material until you've had a couple conversations with me.
I'm all over the place today. This weekend left me with lots of stuff to think about - as I said, none of it went as planned. But I feel like I've uncovered many truths. I feel - well, I should feel nervous or depressed or upset, but instead I feel centered. I feel in control. I feel like I've gotten some much-needed closure in some areas and I've opened gates in others. I'm flowing. I'm moving right along.
Exercise log:
Danced around a fire to drumming on Friday night; was not impressed by the quality of the drumming, although I did get them to follow my dancing so I could take them into some funky beats, the beats were too exciting for them and the drumming dissolved into a cacophany of random beats.
I also hiked quite a bit, plus the chore of putting up/taking down a tent and a smattering of swimming.
I'm currently reading:
The Fall of Atlantis by Marion Zimmer Bradley
Misplaced while packing:
Foundation's Edge by Issac Asimov
(Don't worry; I'm only reading this because this is the last one I was given and I want to read it while I'm still "in the universe". Yes, it's much worse than the others, though at least women's lib had happened and Asimov finally saw fit to depict a woman in a position of power - huzzah!

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