Since my life is boring at the moment, I'm using one of my "rainy day" topics from a list I keep for just this occasion.
"It can't be Mommy....she only knows Ballet!"
After which I prance around the living room, pointing my toes to my knees in pique turns, swinging my curls behind me. Later on the tape, Holly and I interview each other, pretending like we're famous performers and talking about our dance routines as if they're the latest fads sweeping America. We sing songs (where I get so high my voice sqeaks -- and let's not even talk about the part where I imitate a kazoo).
My point in telling you all this? Someday, *my* kids are going to sit down with me and watch this tape. They're going to get to see their mother at their age, in all her self-important glory. Now, my father got a video camera earlier than most (I think), around 1979-1980. We have videotaped recitals and such, but nothing compares to these "live" interviews in the family room. Mine is the first generation where our children will have the opportunity to see their parents as children*. Pictures don't capture the sass, energy and interests of a child at play the way a rolling video camera does.
What I want to know is, will my kids relate to me as a child, or are they going to see instead an incredibly embarrassing, out-of-date geek that they're horrified to find out is their mother?
Just think of it - the ultimate rejection! Parents are always trying to relate to their children, but can never overcome the age gap. But, if your kids don't even to relate to your personality at their own age, then what do you do? That would be so demoralizing, it makes me want to lock up these tapes until they're old enough to watch them maturely.
(The following I think I've talked about here before.) Then there's the tape of me at age 16. David found it while flipping through Mom's card catalog of tapes (Mom's a librarian), and I said, "Sure, let's watch it."
Big mistake.
Every ugly personality trait I have deep down inside now...well, at age 16, they were surface traits (some of 'em) and the awful thing is I obviously didn't know it**. David squealed with uncontrolled laughter, holding the remote away from me so I couldn't turn it off. So much for handling it maturely!
**Please, parents, don't video tape your teenagers. It's just cruel.
- Make tape audition for that place that pays you to do erotic readings (books on tape).
- Time stories and poetry for the CD with Mary Anne. Plan that project.
- Go sailing with David as pre-research for this cool story I'm going to do with my roommate, Sharon, who's a photographer (why didn't I think of collaberating with her before this?)
- Write slam poetry. Make it to the slams. Practice some beforehand, you silly goose!
- Best Lesbian Erotica deadline: 4/1/99
- Scarlet Letters deadling: 3/31/99
- Revise "Watercress" (that water story's new name for now) and send it to this new market.
- Finish the How-to article I started last night.
- Write a cat mystery (yeah, right).
- Send out "Statue of a Nymph" and "Virgin Verse", both of which got rejected lately.
- Maybe write the rest of "Virgin Verse" first, as I think there's another half of that story waiting to come out.
- Dinner Wednesday with Mary Anne and David Steinberg (and others).
- Attend a reading of Mary Anne's sometime this week (probably Saturday).
- Work out schedule with David (ugh).
- Ongoing: Sit-ups, weight-lifting.