Tuesday, November 26th, 2002 - Baker's Dozen So, on Saturday Tim and I started celebrating his birthday early with a gift I'd bought to share with him. We spent the evening wrapped in velvet, laughing so hard I thought I'd bust my gut, watching cartoons and shagging like teenagers. It was lovely. I have other things planned for his birthday, of course, though I'm not going to be able to do "The Twelve Days of Tim's Birthday" like I did last year. Can't afford it. But, well, I can give him presents and experiences and in the end, it will be a good time. My sister Holly is SOOoooooo pregnant! Man! She's due a week from tomorrow, and though she's hoping not to have it until a week after that, she could pop at any minute. It's making me nervous every time she's out and we're online, as there would be no way for her to get a hold of me to let me know to come to the hospital. I can't wait to see my new nephew! It's so very, very exciting! I'll try to take a picture of Holly and post it up here so you all can see it (yes, Mom, I'll try to get the fairy tatoo on her stomach in the picture too). She's been wearing all my old baby doll dresses from the early 90's, and she's all glowy and lovely right now. I've gotten a lot of rejections lately. It just means that I have to send the stories back out again toot-sweet, but a part of me is in pessimistic mode (see last entry) and I find myself thinking what a waste of money it is to send these stories out again and again when no one ever buys them. I know -- I'll never sell them unless I keep trying -- but a part of me can't shake the feeling that it's throwing money away. I know this will pass, and in the meantime I'll keep sending stuff out, but I'm just really uptight about money right now and I can't shake the feeling that I'm pissing into the wind. Tim critted "When We Were Twelve" and instead of doing a line edit as I'd hoped he would, he wants more from me. More description. Well, I suppose the hard edit -- fixing the ending -- is over with (he seems to like it, told me it was good and chilling, which it's supposed to be), but it's starting to feel like I'll never be done with this story. Oh well. I'd rather get it polished up and absolutely perfect before sending it out than send it out half-baked and see it get rejected a thousand times. It's all for the best. My writing plans in the next few months are fairly specific. I have an old story ("Pumpkin Lover") which needs serious revising, which I hope to do quickly and soon. I also hope to write this substantial collab with Tim (other collabs we've done have been more or less fluffly; this one has real heart). And I have a pretty decent story idea for the next "Say . . . " anthology, which needs writing (I've started writing it on BART, but I already need to back up and change some things to make it work). Then, then, my friends, I'm embarking on my novel. Once again. Really, this time I mean it. Oh, stop looking at me that way. The idea is pretty sound, I have almost all my research on this done already, and I can do it in segments that I might be able to sell as stand-alone stories. Sort of hoping to trick myself into writing a novel, actually. Just think it's about damn time for me to get on the ball and write one, you know? Ok, I think that's all I have the stamina for right now. Hope you all are doing well. Tell me about it in my forum, ok? Discuss.

Exercise Log: Walking, dancing around, shagging. Writing log: Rejections. Sending stuff out. I'm too sick for coherence right now, so no writing. Current Publications: In the Shade of You nominated in the long poem category for the Rhysling and will be reprinted in the 2002 Rhysling Anthology! "How to Suck" reprinted in From Porn to Poetry: Clean Sheets Celebrates the Erotic Mind I've been reading: Currently Reading: In a Sunburned Country by Bill Bryson Donate money to my teeth, my grad school application fees, our writerly projects (Floodwater and Flytrap!). Every little bit helps!

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