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Oh, I bet you all can't wait for an entry with *that* title...(coming soon
- no, the pun is NOT intended, but, yes, it's there, isn't it?).
So, I've been responding to men lately. Responding in this sort of tingling, fluttering that travels up from my calves, teases the "unmentionables", does donuts in my womb, lets butterflies go in my tummy, caresses my breasts and causes my breath to catch in my throat. If it wasn't near the end of my period, I'd say I was ovulating, but I'm pretty sure I'm not. But somehow men - certain men, not all of course, but more than I would have thought - are getting my attention. I feel like I'm in high school again, and I've got crushes on all the popular boys and I get all nervous and excited when they're around. Men at work, some men on the street, old boyfriends, new boyfriends...they're driving me crazy! I find myself tracing my eyes down the lines of their bodies, wondering how their hands would feel smoothing over my hips, if they would be the fingertip-under-the-chin type when they're kissing or the hands-on-the-side-of-the-face type. If I hug one, I breathe in their scent (even the cologne wearing ones are getting to me, and I usually prefer natural scent) and note the temperature and strength of their breath on my neck. I speak to them and notice how they look at me, ascertain what they might be thinking about (by watching where their eyes linger on my body), and I move or speak in such a way to test my theories, so I can watch them respond. I can speak to them about intellectual or flirtatous topics and it all seems to be part of the same mating dance. I don't dare make any move, though, as it would be too bold. I think it's the anticipation, the little, subtle moves, that are so enticing for me right now. As for old boyfriends - is there anything more reassuring than an old lover's touch? The way you know they know every curve of your body, and every button and every response? The sort of mindless way people who have loved together often can fall back into that trance and caress each other deftly, purely, perfectly. I love thinking about my favorite exes, love looking at them and remembering those first thrills of NRE (new relationship energy) through the gentleness of rediscovery. It's autumn, that must be it. I always have the urge to go on long, romantic walks this time of year. I'd rather kiss for hours, snuggled under a warm blanket on a crisp day, than have tawdry, down-and-dirty intercourse. Something about the impending winter makes me want to linger in the first acts of love - the discovery of touch, the scent of arousal, the heat of another body close to yours. I love the buildup, the foreplay that never unbuttons your jeans, but slips under your shirt after a long, caressing hug. I want to lie spooned with my lover, feeling his exhale on the back of my neck, his arousal growing behind me. I don't want to feel the need to turn and finish this moment anytime soon, but I want to take my time, teasing both of us, making us hotter and hotter for each other. And when it moves up a step, I want to be kissed along my neck, bitten lightly with passion, so my eyelids flutter with the overwhelming intensity of it all. And, when and if we finally decide to consummate these feelings... Well, the point of tantra is not orgasm, you know. | ||
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