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This is one of those days I'd go work out if I had a gym membership. I'm
so tight across my shoulders it hurts to type, but then, it always hurts
to type, especially for any length of time at all, so maybe it's not
tension maybe I'm just built this way. Wired this way. Am I wired to
feel emotional pain in a physical way? Is it my age? Is it my hormones?
Is it my wiring/genetics? It's a basket case kind of day, that's what it is. So, what do I do? I suppose I *could* go pay my way into the Y. I could swim for awhile, that might be really cool. 'Cept I'm not swimming all the time anymore so I'd get tired too soon, what with holding your breath and all that arm stuff and all. An aerobics class would be good - dance class better, of course. Aikido is tonight at the Y, I think, but I haven't been because of that one guy in the class although that might be good to deal with him 'cause it'd give me something else to think about. I'd like to throw people today, though I'd be a new student and it would be unseemly to get all rough with strangers and I don't trust myself to fight physically today, forget marital arts, bad idea. Ok. I could take a walk, but it's a cold, windy day, which is why I'm fantasizing about my YMCA membership that I didn't use for 9 months out of last year. My job would pay for half of it, but I am stalling on that, thinking maybe I should try to get them to pay for dance lessons instead. But you can't go dance whenever like you can work out whenever. I should write, of course, and I'm thinking I might, but I'm also thinking I should get out of the apartment for a few hours at least. That cuts out sewing, which right now is just cutting out squares of velvet and brocade for my extra-special, luxiourious quilt which I've been meaning to do forever (ok, just months now). It would feel good to have something done, to get something done today. I need to accomplish something; I need that boost of self-esteem I get when I've been creative. Or when I work out. Maybe I should just sit down and plan out the rest of the hours of this day, to get through it. That's not a bad idea. Focus on what I need to get done, when, and do it. I should cook tonight; maybe I'll invite someone over... (this is where I get a little down because I can't think of anyone local. I want to have Kellie and Brian over for dinner. Or Holly. It's also one of those days I'd love to be able to go have dinner over at Mom's house. It's a miss-my-mommy sort of day). Oooh, bad idea, thinking about old friends like that. Stop crying, Heather, and focus:
Deep breath. There. That does feel better. | ||
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