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I've been reading Barbara Kingsolver's latest novel, "The Poisonwood
Bible". I don't know if that conveys the impression this book has on me.
I've been unable to *stop* reading this book at night; what usually
happens is I'll wake up to find my lights still on and the book open on my
chest. The book details what happens to a missionary family in the Congo in 1959. Well, that's where it starts. I love books like this where they give you a history lesson through character development and personal histories. Ugh. Sorry, my connection is DRAGGING, so it's very difficult to write right now. My main reaction to this book is, "My god, have I lived a sheltered, unworldly life!" Not that I think America is great or anything - I am well aware that we hear only the most selected of news, and that selection, where it may not have very much government influence is certainly influenced by sensationalism and sales. But to read how America handled the independence of the Congo - murdering the elected leader because he wouldn't trade diamonds with us (or let us steal diamonds is more like it) and putting in a crook who would rather build another mansion for himself than pay any government workers or feed hungry children.... Gods, I feel naive. This book makes me want to travel more than anything - I've never stepped foot off of American soil, and it seems it's about damn time I got another perspective. I want to travel so badly it has become an ache - I'd love to do what Holly is doing and just take off and travel for a year, come what may. But, I've got this good job, see....that's been my excuse since February at least. And, in light of the perspective of the characters in this novel, I'm ashamed that I'm letting it be such a big deal. Money - bah! It's so hard to grapple with my upbringing. Taking things like flush toilets for granted when there are so many other basic needs not being met in this world. Throwing out things that could be useful to someone, that they might really need. Just one more piece of junk on the pile. Sorry, I don't mean to be preachy or...bleeding heart or whatever you might call it. Usually I have a sense of helplessness when it comes to these things - what could I really do to change it? Why should I give up luxury just because some others starve? But I think I feel this way because I've never really seen a starving person. I've lived in the cushy bubble of America, not exactly swallowing what they tell me whole, but not bothering to find out the truth either. Calling myself enlightened because I found the bubble within the bubble (the liberal atmosphere of the Bay Area as compared to the Midwest), trying to imagine the outside world, tyring to understand through books and film what it must be like. My, it's a big scary world out there! Aren't we lucky to have been born in America? And, then the idea of travel scares me, because, well, what do I do when I see that starving person? What will I do? Will I ever be able to live in the luxury of the United States again? To forget? Will I wish I'd never looked into that world outside the bubble? I doubt it. I bet I'll hate this country and it's big bully status even more, having been away from it. I'll shake with rage at every placating piece of news I happen to hear (I try to ignore the news these days anyway, because I know it's so slanted and such bunk), I'll scowl even harder at every SUV that passes me and I'll shout with fury when they bemoan their keyed paintjobs. What the hell does a smooth finish matter when right now someone's stomach muscles are so deprived of protein that their body can not hold their internal organs in tight? What the hell kind of society is this? We call this civilized??? This is disgusting! We think we're so kind, and we let our big bully brother push around other peoples in the name of democracy. I know, I know...people just suck. You can't be kind or you'll get taken advantage of. I'm really sick of this plague of humanity. We really could do so much good, if so many weren't overcome by greed. I'm afraid, once I travel, that I'll never be able to enjoy life again. Which is more important? Personal happiness or a drop in the bucket against greed and corruption? How many of us leave those little drops to evaporate in light of a happier oblivion for ourselves and our children? Just because it's far away, does that mean it doesn't touch me? Sigh. Thanks for listening to that scattered rant. Go read the book, it's really good. | ||
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