Dear Diary . . . day by day

Wednesday, October 3rd, 2001 - Dire

Okay, I'm depressed. Worrying about money and not being able to get a job is really, truly stressing me out. Tim had his headphones on and was playing Diablo II and he still heard me crying in the kitchen, depressed at the site of potato soup right out of the can.
I have no money. I cannot pay my bills. I'm applying for jobs I want, but also any job I think I might get, whether I really want it or not. I average sending out 20 resumes a day. If my temp agencies can't get me anything for next week by this Friday, I'm going to start filling out applications at retail stores. Safeway is hiring, and I'm tempted. I have to bring money in. This is too hard.
Likewise, if any of you know of any Admin-type jobs in the East Bay or SF, please email me at: gryffyn@there.net. Thanks.
Last night I dreamed about snuggling with Tim. Not really the most original dream, as that's what I was doing in real life, while we slept. I'm all PMS-y right now; usually that makes me nit-picky, moody and bitchy - this time I'm needy. Usually, I like my space when I sleep; I know I'm scared when I cling.
The rest of my dreams were all about being poor, huddling together with friends and family (and talking cats) for warmth, while winter raged outside. Those are what I call "Little House on the Prarie" dreams. In a way, it's making the best of a bad situation: "We're only eating ramen for the next month? Whoo-hoo, let's make it a game!"
I should note that Tim is being wonderful to me, very sweet and supportive. It scares him, too, but at least he has a job he loves. That will be a blessing when I'm working retail, that at least one of us loves our job.

Exercise log:
Finally went to the gym. Made the mistake of weighing while I'm all bloated, but that's only a partial excuse; amazing how a year of hard work can go poof! in three months of slackerdom. Stretched, did 25 minutes on the precor which equals 2 miles and 300 calories burned.
Writing log:
Wrote the next scene of "A Serious Case of Fairies", a collab I'm writing with Tim.
Current Publications:
In the Shade of You at Speculon.
San Francisco City Guide at EGrad.com. Written by me, edited by someone else.
I'm currently reading:
Earthquake Weather by Tim Powers
The Strange Adventures of Rangergirl by Tim Pratt
Okay, so I'm just reading the very rough first draft of the chapters fresh off the 'puter, but damn, it's already good!
My new PO Box is:
Heather Shaw
P.O. Box 13222
Berkeley, CA 94712-4222

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