Saturday, October 19th, 2002 - Sampler Platter As I walk down the back steps from her back porch, I forget to avoid the broken brown beer bottle, and it crunches under my Birkenstock clogs with a sound almost like brittle leaves, but worse. I do a little hop-skip to shake the glass off my feet -- heels down to avoid getting glass flipped up into my shoes -- and I nearly hop onto a freshly killed rat. Between 7 and 8 inches long, curled slightly with its tail curving the other way, I can't say what makes it look like a fresh kill to me, other than maybe the vivid colors of it. I turn to tell her to come look, but she's already inside. I look at the rat, look around for the murderer, then head down the driveway toward the street. At the end of the driveway I see the cat. She's crouched, giving me a suspicious stare. "Oh, kitty, I'm sorry; I didn't mean to scare you away from your dinner. Go ahead, you can come back to it. Come on, kitty." She doesn't move until I step towards her, and she starts to edge away, keeping a good 15 feet between us. There's no other way out that I know of, so I'm forced to go towards the cat, who runs out onto the sidewalk and down the street. I keep calling to her, but she only stops to give me disgusted cat looks before darting further away. That back door -- and the fact that my friend uses it exclusively since her front lock got permanently stuck -- made me nervous before this. But if a cat is catching rats back there, it's even more private than I thought. Cats like to have a quiet place to play with their food. I'm late to the hospital tour, and I have to sneak in the meeting room, ducking so I don't block out the image from the projecor as I find a seat near my sister. After we see slides of the rooms, we head up the elevator to see them in person. The tour group is comprised of 30 couples, and every other expectant mother has her man in tow. The tour guide keeps referring to "the father, er, partner" and tries not to look at Holly and I when she does so. Finally, while we're peering in at the tiny infants in the well-baby ward, I whisper to Holly "they think we're a couple". I'm surprised that she's surprised. "What? No! I mean, it's obvious that you're my sister, isnt' it?" "Hey," I said, "couples start to look alike after awhile. I mean, look at me and Tim." "Yeah, you two do look alike." I put my arm around her, and she snuggles in for a moment before she shakes herself and says, "Hey! Cut that out!" I look at all the new releases, and I have to admit the two I finally pick I chose for their ability to please Tim. He's been so sweet to me lately, kissing the back of my neck while we snuggle every morning, telling me how wonderful I am, how much he loves me. Still, I wish for a cell phone so I'm sure he'll like Resident Evil . . . He loves it that I brought home a sci-fi zombie movie; he's beaming, he's so proud of me. I feel a little guilty, wishing I had at least picked up movie for myself, but I shake it off. We all know I'm so in love it doesn't matter. We watch it that night, and it's ok, even if not quite my thing. Later that night, he falls asleep on the couch after I go to bed. I wake up in the middle of the night, terrified of zombies in a way I haven't been since I was a kid, and I'm wishing he'd woken up and come to bed so I could wake him or at least snuggle in for comfort. Finally I risk turning the light on, and I read for a bit until I calm myself down. After ten minutes I hear him get up off the couch, get some water and come into my room. I'm so relieved and I tell him so. He laughs at me, "Why did't you come wake me up to come chase those zombies away?" "That door might have been the only thing keeping them out." I tell him. I'm so glad he's in bed with me that I fall asleep right away, safe and sound. Leave a sample.

Exercise Log: I haven't felt well all week, so not that much, I'm afraid. Writing log: Finished my edits on "Famishing" & will send it out soon. Current Publications: The Children of the Moon in Strange Horizons. In the Shade of You nominated in the long poem category for the Rhysling and will be reprinted in the 2002 Rhysling Anthology! "How to Suck" reprinted in From Porn to Poetry: Clean Sheets Celebrates the Erotic Mind I've been reading: Currently Reading: A Girl's Guide to Hunting and Fishing by Melissa Bank

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