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Tuesday, October 26th, 1999 - White girl
I told y'all about the fact that I'm thinking about auditioning for _The Trojan Women_ but did I tell you that it's being put on by the African American Shakespeare Company here in Oakland? No? Did I tell you that, if I got the role (Helen of Troy) that I'd be the only white girl in the cast?

See, the concept of this production is to have all the Trojan women - Cassandra, Hecuba et al - be black. All the Greeks - Menelaus, Helen etc - are white. Troy is set somewhere in Africa, with African gods, an African war etc. So, in this play, the Trojan war is started when a white girl (Helen) runs off with a black man (Paris) back to his country.

I went over to Victoria's last night for the read-through (after getting, not lost, but so confused on my way there that I passed every street I was looking for and having to make a square to go back in the right direction...). Everyone was very nice, and the read-through went well. I had played a game earlier, trying to decide by people's voices and appearance how well they'd read. For instance, I was impressed by the...presence...of this slightly older woman. She just had so much wisdom in her face, such ease of control in her demeanor, that I knew she'd be the best reader there; she was. I was my usual nervous self, perhaps a bit more nervous as I knew the concept of the play and couldn't help wondering how these women felt about that issue.

What issue? The issue of white women dating black men. Even as I type this, I'm nervous, as it's one of those things you just don't take lightly, at least, not in Oakland. My mom has even told me I shouldn't date black men - that I should leave the nice, educated black men for black women, as there aren't as many educated black men as there are black women. There's no nicer way to put it, I don't think. I guess it's true, but it feels, racist, to think so. I guess I just don't want it to matter so much, what color the guys are I date. I certainly had never thought of it as an issue a few years ago when I was dating N., who was black and educated, (and a pathological liar, but that was just N. not black men in general, of course). In fact, it was when N. and I first went out to eat together in Oakland that I experienced the stares, the hostile looks from black women as they saw a white woman dating a well-dressed, well-spoken black man. N. was aware of it and pointed it out to me (rather gleefully, but, as I said, this guy had issues of his own) and, honestly, that was the first time I'd ever considered the possibility.

So, the plot of this play...have any of you read it? It's pretty much a huge denoument after the war, with the Trojan women being divided up and sold into slavery. Helen appears only briefly and not one person is pleased with her (lots of venom). Ok, so let's think about this. It's now set in Africa, and the African women are being stolen into slavery by white men. That's certainly an interesting twist to the play, one that is more immediate to our American history, to be sure. And I'm all for controversy in theatre, too. But to put another woman at blame for this war, this slavery.... it just seems, well, dangerous. It's certainly an issue - white women with black men - but it's a much more current one than the issue of slavery. I'm just worried about confusing the two in people's minds; what kind of message does this send? And, of course, do I want to *be* this woman, even if only acting it onstage? What if I start dating a black man during the course of rehearsals? What kind of reaction would that bring? Would I feel like I was doing something wrong? Would I be wrong?

Oh, yes, I'm almost definitely doing this role if I'm cast in it. Are you kidding? I'm a little frightened, but it doesn't get much more heated than this. Controversy is great advertising for a play. I think it's a brilliant concept in many ways; I'm just wondering what this all means....

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