Dear Diary - September 1998

My current email address is gryffyn@there.net

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I've decided to keep an ongoing diary/journal online. This is for all my (wired) friends back in Indiana that I don't write enough, and for anyone who really wants to get to know me better. If you're not sure who I'm talking about here, you may find more info under Who's who.
As with the "selected" journal, I'm not putting up anything overly personal up here, so quit skimming for the juicy bits and check out my erotic poetry instead.

Monday, September 14, 1998

There's too much to tell, too much to say. About a week ago I came back from Burning Man with an expanded mind. Not that I didn't know such things were possible, but after a week I found myself fully accepting things that had always made me so uncomfortable in the past. A week of living in a harsh environment that wants to kill you in the most disturbing ways (dehydration and heat exhaustion being a few) makes worrying about things such as body image seem silly. It was refreshing to simply shed all clothing under the pretense of pure comfort (it was 110 degrees in the shade), and not worry about my less-than perfect figure. Not to mention the idea that money is dirty (everything was for barter . . . well, almost everything), and whatever you do, as long as you're expressing yourself and not messing with others experiences, is totally cool. Yeah, yeah, there were a lot of peacocks, but they were their own birds, not flocking together (unless it was a really cool group project). I'm doing a terribly brief job of describing this amazing experience. Perhaps I should concentrate on one aspect of it per entry.

I will finish this entry today. I will. I will.

Sunday, September 20, 1998

Famous last words. I don't know that I *can* sit down and systematically spell out how Burning Man was. It was, and that's what's important to me. I'm sure its influence will be around for quite some time. On a related note, Ian has asked me how BM compares to Lothlorien. It does, and it doesn't. How vague, I know. Lothlorien is so much smaller, 300 people is a big event, it's more frequent (once a month April through October there's a festival with 50-300+ people) and it's definitely more like a family. And the woods, the land . . . Lothlorien's land is magical in a way that is wholly like and unlike the magic of the desert. It's in the woods, you can walk to the creek, it's gentler that way. Really, comparisons aren't accurate.

So, what's been going on recently? Elle had her 108th birthday party, and we celebrated it in style - kid's style. I wore a babydoll dress (pink flowered print), with ankle socks and maryjanes and my hair in ponytails (with pink roses and ribbons, of course). I brought Mr. Carrot Feet, my stuffed rabbit, and greeted Elle at the door by joining her in jumping up and down, "Thanks for inviting me to your parrrty!" It was a GREAT party. I think acting like a little kid as an adult solves some of my reservation problems at parties. I'm kinda quiet and shy at large parties sometimes, and I have trouble meeting (or wanting to meet) new people. But when I met Jim, a friend of Ian and Elle's I've heard about before but never met, I hung back behind Mary Anne until I was introduced, "Hi, I'm Heather" "I'm Jim" "Hi, I really like your socks" giggle, giggle, scuff the feet, "Thanks" then I squealed and pulled Mary Anne into the other room and said, "I think he's cute!" Just over the top and fun. It helped that Jim was really into the kid thing too. He brought balloon animals and everything. Mary Anne (in an adorable Catholic School girl outfit) and I started everyone skipping rope, though I couldn't remember anything other than "Down in the Valley" to sing. Adults suck at sing-song, btw. It was neat and everyone took several turns trying out new tricks (like jumping in while the rope was going, jumping together, turning around, etc.). I managed, in my competitive spirit, to "win" the skip-rope contest by making it to 65. Ugh! I started out showing off my style points by turning around and doing different rocking skip steps (I even managed backwards at one point) but by the end I was so tired I was really only waiting for the rope to come around so I could step over it. I used to skip rope all recess long, what happened? (Ok, 18 years have happened). What else, there was a piņata (which broke into the sticker bushes below, doh!), and too much cake and ice cream. Elle got a nice mountain bike from Ian, but everyone else bought her accessories (streamers, flag, bell *and* horn, pink seat cover, purple lock and an outrageous pink, purple and green basket I would have LOVED as a kid). I'll have to scan that picture and put it up here for you guys, it was hilarious. There was wrapping paper all over the living room, just like at a kid's b-day party. It was a long day, though. It's exhausting to be a kid, no wonder they get to take nap time.

So, we went out for sushi and hot tubbing afterwards. What a California night! There were 12 of us for sushi and 10 in the hot tub. It was really one too many in the hot tub, but oh well. I really like this group of people. I know we scared our waitress at first, but when they brought out the ginger the entire group let up a long, "oooohhh, ginger!" that made her smile in spite of herself. Man, she must have gotten a huge tip. Sushi isn't my favorite, though it is fun to watch my friends eat these disgusting looking pieces of raw fish. Amazing, they just gobble it down and groan in appreciation. Huh. I *did* try my first fish-egg, which Lydia called, "little explosions of delight in my mouth". It did explode, and it would have been ok, had I been able to think it was vegetable. It tasted salty and fatty. Then later, at the hot tub place, I emerged to see Elle completely charming the lovely attendants in the lobby with her tales about her birthday party. Yeah, Elle is *way* cool. They were acknowledging that she *was* 108 and going through her second childhood, and these women didn't look like the overly silly type. Large groups of people can be so daunting when you're in the service industry, and I'm proud of us for not only making it easy for them, but entertaining and memorable as well. Those are the best stories when you come home from work.

Well, that's it for now, I guess. Things are actually going ok otherwise; I got a raise at work and my personal life is not as stressful as it has been. My computer is giving me heartache, but that should be fixed soon. Thanks for reading, guys. And thanks to those of you who've written me such nice emails about my page. I got a couple about a month ago that couldn't have come at a better time. I don't think I've made it clear how much I value that kind of feedback. Thanks again.

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