Dear Diary . . . day by day

Saturday December 9th - Sing Along
My new PO Box is:
Heather Shaw
P.O. Box 13222
Berkeley, CA 94712-4222
Last night I dreamt that I was Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It has to be one of the best dreams I've ever had. Not that Buffy doesn't have problems or drama - she does, and so did I in the dream - but to be able to take out your frustrations physically on beings you Know to be Evil, well . . . it just rocked. I am sure this has something to do with the kick-boxing class (that turned out to be a lot of punching and hardly any kicking) I took last night. I'm sore, but I feel Buff.
I came home from the gym to Aron's going-away party. I think this is the first time I actually let myself join one of their parties and really enjoy it. I didn't let myself hide in my room once I was dressed and had joined the party - although I did run in to use my private bathroom (leaving the other one for the guests). I finally realized how nice it is to have a party at your house and not have to be the main host - I went out and had a good time without leaving my home!
After dinner and wine, the guitars were tuned and the singing began. And I sang my heart out. I surprised some of Aron's friends who have been victim to my bedtime previously - they thought I abhored singing like some of the other guests who quietly left before their ears were subject to the sometimes off-key singing. And it's true that sometimes I've really detested the sing-alongs at my house - but usually that's a combination of my anti-socialness of the past year or two and too many Guns-N-Roses songs. I've come out to sing before when I've heard a favorite Dead tune, but the GNR always drives me back into my room.
Anyway, we sang only one GNR last night. My favorite stuff to sing is the Indigo Girls songs - Closer to Fine, Blood and Fire, etc., and anything that's not too rock-n-roll. Aron complemented me later on my voice - it's strong and he said it kept them in key. And while it's true that I can sing on key (usually), it's also true that I can't really get that rock-n-roll sound down at all (and when I try, it scrapes up my throat); I think I've had too much voice training, and it comes out sounding too refined. I think the best song for me last night was Swing Low, Sweet Chariot in the key of D; I could take my time, forming the vowels and letting the sound well up out of my chest; I even had a little vibrato action, which I haven't used in years. The best part was the fact that everyone was listening to everyone else on that song and trying to blend; we had four men and four women and when you stood in the kitchen, it sounded like a real choir. I got chills.
Another cool thing was that I could hold a guitar and do the fingering along with the music while we sang on many of the songs. I know A, C, D, E, G, Am and Em (and now, Bm), and those were pretty common in much of what we sang. I had Aron show me Bm so I could learn to accompany myself on Puff the Magic Dragon, which is one of my favorite songs to sing. Learnig songs you can sing along with is crucial to learning to play the guitar, at least it's that way for me.
Our guests left around 1am, but Aron, Jen and I were wired and stayed up chatting until 2. Aron is leaving on Tuesday for Isreal for 6 months (well, after a month at home), and I have to say I'm gonna miss him. Weird. Lately I've kinda felt like he's had contempt for me, but last night I really felt a commraderie with our household. I am going to miss the sing alongs, especially since I'm finally learning to let myself enjoy them again. Aron is much more social than Jen, and although I still like Jen better, she's probably not going to draw as many people around her alone as Aron does. Oh well. At least he's coming back in June.
I think it helped me to remember how to be social. I think I didn't join in the singing before because I was self-conscious. Last night I forgot to be self-concious at all - in fact, I was leading some of the singing, when I knew enough of the words and melody. I didn't worry that these weren't "my" friends, I didn't feel awkward or strange or stupid. I felt normal. And I had a great time.
Exercise log:
Lifted weights on Thursday night: shoulders, sides and calves; I also did a decent amount of abs. Last night I tried to take a kick-boxing class to work my legs, since my shoulders were sore, but it turned out to be more punching than kicking, so I'm doubly sore today. I also took a 10 minute abs class before kick-boxing and a 15 minute abs class after kick-boxing. Can you tell I'm dissatisfied with my gut right now?
Writing log:
Working on an article on Octavia Butler for Strange Horizons. Really!
I'm currently reading:
Margaret and I by Kate Wilhelm
Woman: An Intimate Geography by Natalie Angier

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