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Sunday December 10th - Walk Tall and Swing those Hips
My new PO Box is:

Heather Shaw
P.O. Box 13222
Berkeley, CA 94712-4222

Well, it was a pretty good weekend. And after the mirth from Friday night, the rest of it could've been a real let-down. Saturday I woke up all snuggly, warm and happy from my Buffy dream. I forgot to tell you guys the best part of that dream - as Buffy, I chose not Riley, but Spike to make out with. Very hot. And while I can remember the last time I was kissed that well, I can't remember the last time I was kissed like that with someone new and different. Spike's a good kisser, vamp teeth and all.

Anyway, I took a shower, ate some breakfast and sat down for three hours to finally get down a draft of that Octavia Butler article I'm writing. I've been very excited about my topic, and I spent at least 8 hours last weekend thinking about how I wanted to say what I wanted to say. I've done a little research into what's been written on Butler, and it all seems to focus on obvious stuff like Utopia/Dystopia and the WAY overdone black heroine/black science fiction writer slant. I hope what I'm about to say doesn't sound racist, but I think it's almost a disservice to keep pointing out that Butler's characters are black, that she's black, that she deals with black issues. Yes, this is all true, but to simply state that and stop there is missing the depth of her writing. Butler tells good stories with unique characters. And while her strong female characters are always black women, certainly all women will be able to relate to their struggles, their dreams, their achievements. And hopefully even white men can get something out of these stories. I dunno, it's probably not worth my sarcasm, but I just noticed that most critical essays like to focus on race, and that just seems an overdone route by now. So I found something new.

No, I'm not telling what it is. The article will be up by a week from tomorrow and you can all go read it and see what you think. Unfortunately, the article itself is full of spoilers, so if you haven't read almost everything Butler has written, I'm likely to spoil several good bits for you. But David said it should get people interested in reading more Butler, which is a good thing, too.

So, after completing a very rough 2500 article, I headed over to David's where we made goulash together. I love cooking, but only when I have time. And if you add a good friend to keep my company and help with the cooking, I'm very content. It's a very warm fuzzy feeling, y'know?

After dinner we turned down the lights and settled in for a full run through of the Dune miniseries. David had taped it last week and took out all the commercials, and it was such a treat to immerse ourselves in that story for so long. What excellent cinematography! What an honest depiction of the script. What groovy special effects! I think I might have to make watching this version of Dune a yearly event; it was pure eye-candy, and the sensual bits that came around every so often drove me nuts. I can't remember the last time a film had such a strong effect on me.

Today wasn't quite the amazing day Friday or Saturday were, but that just helps me ease back into the work week. I got up early and went shopping. In the parking lot I met a nice man who wanted my number, and for some reason I gave it to him. I don't know why I do this now and then. I guess it was just that as I pulled up I thought to myself, he seems nice, and then he struck up a conversation and wanted my number. Ok, so maybe we'll do coffee, even though I'd feel guilty since there are many other people I know better with whom I've promised to do coffee. I told this guy not too expect too much from me, that I was only intersted in friendship. Hopefully if he wants more, he won't call.

Anyhow, I'm about to go eat and watch the Simpsons with David, but I thought I'd fill in the weekend. I know my entries during the week are lame; I'm just so tired and busy!

Perhaps I should work on a more public persona, not let you guys see who I really am all the time. I'm pretty sure I couldn't pull off sweetness and light (and make anyone at all believe it), but I'd like to at least get my confident persona back on firmly. I've forgotten about my edge, I've been wallowing down in the depths for too long. I've forgotten how I used to want to wear low-cut shirts and flirt - hell, I've forgotten how to flirt at all, really! But I can get all that back. Someone at the party Friday night said that my antisocialness of late may be because I'm growing up - we all do things as kids that we wouldn't do as adults. And that scared me, because, you know what? I don't want to be that adult. I still want to be brave. And feisty. And confident. I want to walk with that swing to my hips again and not worry about my cleavage showing at inappropriate times. I want to be confident, not mousy.

Exercise log:

I don't really exercise much on the weekends.


Writing log:

Finished the first draft of my article on Octavia Butler for Strange Horizons.


I'm currently reading:

Margaret and I by Kate Wilhelm

Woman: An Intimate Geography by Natalie Angier

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