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I need more friends. I need to call or email or somehow keep in contact
with the friends I've got. Conversely, I need to spend less time with
David. We've got each other's buttons on speed dial and even when we're
trying NOT to push them our fingers slip... Yup. I need to spend time
with different people. I've been hanging out with Jeff off and on lately. That's been nice; he's a sweet guy, talented musician, spiritual and honest and seemingly very even. We get together and talk about life and our ex-relationships and relationships in general. We also talk about life and jobs and where we want to work or live and how important it is to have time for your art. There's no romantic pressure here, which is why I haven't run off like I did with Alex or Jason or anyone else who wants more than to be my friend. I can be honest with Jeff about my dysfunctional relationship with David, and he can talk to me about whatever, too. I like that. It's really helped get me out of the house occasionally, and I always look forward to spending time with him. So, Saturday night Jeff and I went to see "All About my Mother", which is set in Barcelona. Afterwards, we sat in a bar and chatted about stuff. I told him how I wish I could get myself to go out more often, but my usual excuse is that I don't think anyone wants to hang out with me (Sound familiar?.) He immediately told me I could call him whenever I felt this way, that he usually wants to go out and do stuff. It was terribly reassuring. It's nice to call someone and not worry that you're gonna wear out your welcome... Anyhow, I need to start doing that with more of my friends. Of course, I'm so last-minute most of the time that I end up calling the 6th person on my list and feeling like a desperate idiot. So my resolve is to have a fantastic time in Spain, and learn to socialize there. I figure if I can do it in a country where I don't speak the language, I'll have no excuse not to make contact with people when I return. I'm gonna make a list of people around here I like and have been meaning to either get to know better, or start hanging out with or whatever, and when I get back I'm going to make a consicous effort to make plans with these people. If nothing else, I'll have just come from Spain, so I won't feel like my life is depressing and boring (which is another great excuse of mine). Sooo, this is a heads up to folks I know in the Bay Area...if all goes well, I'll be calling you, wanting to know if you wanna go for a hike or get coffee or go catch a movie or go shopping (well, not shopping; I'm planning on coming back from Spain broke). Hopefully, this will work and I'll be deliciously busy and no more will I have the "my life is boring and sucky right now" excuse. Let's hope. | ||
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