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Tuesday, March 2nd, 1999
| This is just a quick note to let you all know that no, I have not fallen off the face of the earth. I'm going to put up some back journal entries for the past few days*, but I just don't have time to do that this morning. In the meantime, I've put up a new Index so you can select entries by day *or* month. Whoo-hoo and happy March, everyone! | *For those of you that are wondering what it was that was on David's mind (see Feb 24th entry), I'll be posting a rather long and personal explanation in one of these back journal entries. It's probably dated Feb. 25th, so check back if you're curious. | |
| Later: I felt something crack today in my relationship with David. I don't know if it's because of the 10+ hours of conversation we've had over the past two days (4 hours of which were last night), or if it's because of the resulting huge email that I wrote to Mary Anne, which was more for me or for her (but to which she replied anyway, firming up my feelings). Or maybe it's the talk I had with Kellie last night. I had called her after a small fight with David, needing someone to talk to who wouldn't just listen, but who would direct my thoughts. I was just telling her that I'd have to be the one to apologize for the fight when he clicked in : | ||
| "Hi" "Hi. Why are you calling me??" "To apologize for letting that fight happen earlier, I guess." "Really? ... Wow. Thanks. That means a lot." | ||
| I don't know. All I know is that I've thought about our relationship very intensely and intimately for the past few days, so much that I'm weary. And we've discussed certain aspects of our relationship over and over. And over and over. But you know what? It's starting to change. There have been NEW developments in these conversations of the past two days. I've admitted things I never have before. So has he. He's actually said that he wants to make it work. | ||
| Well, that's much nicer than the bitchy rant I would have put up, had I attempted to write a journal entry before right now. I'm tired, my shoulders feel like they're made of stiff, braided wire cables but I've got this sense of peace. Please, oh, please sweet goddess, let this last. |