Dear Diary . . . day by day

Tuesday September 19th - Slow, Sleepy and Unmotivated
Burning Man
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2000 The title of today's entry is the response I got when I asked one of my co-workers "How's it going?" Me, I'm a martyr today. I called in sick, but came in at noon to cover the rest of the day when I heard that Kimio was sick again today.
I rock.
No, actually today's morning was pretty much as terrible as yesterday's morning, except that I got to sleep in. Oh, and I talked to Jen (my housemate) a bit, who works nights and so was on her way to bed. It's weird to say "goodnight" to someone when you're just waking up.
So, I'm a mess right now. Some of you have figured that out. Yesterday got better when I stayed later at work to finish commenting on David's article for Strange Horizons. I felt like I'd accomplished something that mattered to me after that, and I went to the Y and had a good workout. It matters to me that he appreciate/value/respect my comments, as he's just about my only close friend out here and, and he's the first person I show my writing to, the first person I allow to give ME comments when I need revision help. He is my First Reader.
He's also hella smart, so if I can give useful comments on his writing, then I must be hella smart, too.
As you can see (maybe) I'm in one of those "Validate me, please!" moods. David might have hit the nail on the head when he said to me this morning, "You need something in your life that brings you joy." Uh, yeah. I think that this summer my writing class was doing most of that. And then it ended, but I was caught up in preparing for the grueling trek to Burning Man (where I realized some stuff and maybe lost a friend). I came back and David was all trying not to upset me and I was trying to implement my revelations about myself and not be so . . . so bad me. And then, I dunno what happened.
II didn't have anyone to hang out with this weekend, that's what happened. It's my own damnfault I don't have a wider variety of friends out here, but that just makes me cry harder when you point that out to me, so please resist. Anyhow, I have friends besides David, who is my close, constant friend. But. But, well. I mean, Ian is a good friend, and we've been talking more lately and it helps a lot. But this weekend was the weekend before his anniversary (Happy Anniversary Ian and Elle!) and you don't go demanding your friends hang out with a mopey you when they want to be all lovey-dovey and take gondola rides and stuff. Elle was unavailable for the same reason, but she also often works on the weekends, so I don't get to hang out with her much. Add little Leo to the mix, and you why they're not spur-of-the-moment friends.
Carol and Jodi I love to death, but they live an hour away and I don't see them enough. I should probably visit them soon. The Burning Man group is having a party next week, which I should go to, but somehow they're all huggy and I'm sorta standoffish and I just don't know them well enough. I should change that, but I'm finding it hard to do so.
Honestly? The best relationship I have right now is with de Milo (as in Venus de Milo), my laptop. I took her out this weekend to the rose garden, and as I left I quipped to Aron, "Yeah, she was bitching that I never take her anywhere." Seriously, we've been spending lots of time together, her and I. I'm almost afraid of taking her anywhere, for fear of losing her.
Ironically, as I was writing that last sentence, I overheard someone in the next room talking about a new security system that lets you track your stolen lap top (this was in today's Wall Street Journal, page B4). It also gives you the thief's address as soon as he turns it on. Grooovy. Of course, you probably have to be a CEO to afford it right now, but it's good to know Neal Stephenson's brand of personal security isn't far off.
I'm going to be crazy somewhere else for awhile. Chat with y'all later.
Exercise log:
Lifted weights: back, biceps and abs. Did only 15 minutes on the ellipitical machine because I was running late and wanted to go home; I still managed to drench myself in sweat :-)
Writing log:
Ok, so I wrote a paragraph or two of a new story idea, but it's terrible, terrible, terrible.
I'm currently reading:
Woman: An Intimate Geography by Natalie Angier
Just finished last night:
Huysman's Pets by Kate Wilhelm

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