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I made a huge decision last night. I'm not giving the details of it here,
but the short of it is that I've decided that I'm the most important
person in my life. I am no longer wasting my precious time on those who
do not treat me well, or those who will not forgive me past shortcomings.
Trying to make sense of past mistakes with these people has left me
miserably blaming myself for more than I am responsible for; I am not
the culmination of my failures. From now on, I am surrounding myself
with those who love me. I had a wall plaque as a child that I will never
forget and I quote often: "A friend is one who knows all about you, and
loves you just the same." I want only friends who recognize me as human,
with copious flaws, but who know that I know this too, and do my best to
overcome these and maintain/create who I really want to be. I also want friends who appreciate me. Perhaps this is the most important of all; appreciation and admiration usually go along with tolerence and acceptance of less desirable traits. Like this weekend, when I was coming back form Carol's tour of their new townhouse, I went down the stairs headfirst, sliding on my belly. Jodi was thrilled that I did this, immediately appreciating the fact that I'm playful and goofy, and commented on it several times with stuff like, "I haven't even gone down my stairs like that yet, and the first time you come down it's on your tummy! You're so cute; I love having you around." Yup, surround me with people who bring out that in me and appreciate it, please. I've been in a good mood since this weekend. It was so mellow, and I was surrounded by such good, loving people. I'm trying to keep this feeling through the week: surround myself with love, keep up on my tasks so I feel good about accomplishing them, make sure I sleep and eat enough and go to dance class tonight. I have plans scheduled through next week, which would be nervous making except that I am really looking forward to everything I have planned to do. I still need to make time to write, but I'm finding slivers of time for that (e.g. I am staying at work between work and belly dancing tonight, so I can take advantage of the computers and the scanners). I should clean my room soon, too, but it's tolerable. In short (heh), Life is Good. | ||
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