Thursday, January 27, 2005

"I would have used it more when I was younger if I knew how lousy it would work when I was older"

Sex-Wise: Being A Sexual Male: The Inevitable Cost of Aging

One of the errors of youth is thinking things will:
1. Never change, or
2. In some Hegelian Pilgrim's Progress, Only Get Better.

Well, perhaps, in some small ways, perhaps these things are true. But RE: Your Turn On, they aren't. There is a godamn reason for all those Viagra ads!

Changes in my sexual response came on me VERY fast, and surprised me quite a bit. Spontaneous erections were GONE, and my sexuality seemed to be more of an intellectual abstraction instead of a physical imperative. Given that I was JUST newly seperated about the time this happened, I was fairly comprehensively gob-smacked.

Depression can bring on these sorts of changes, but at this time I was not seriously depressed, and the changes have been pretty persistent.

The book Sex over 50 was really helpful in calming me down, as were 3 intimate relationships since my (latest) divorce. The link at the top of this post covers most of the salient point of the book. That website has some really good, really interesting surveys and articles on sexuality in general.

I had some testing done, and there is nothing "wrong" with me. My testosterone levels are in the lower end of normal - without a baseline, say, from when I was 18, or even 30, I have no idea whether or not that represents a major change or if those levels alone are not the whole story.

The quote I got second hand from a friend's French Canadian father, who was in his 70's at the time of the citation. Now that you know, I suggest you go and Love the One You're With.

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